tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53559720461488602302024-03-05T06:48:01.160-08:00Seems to Me...Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-47967493622116144352023-02-05T10:42:00.002-08:002023-02-05T10:47:34.059-08:00We Can't Go Through This Alone<p> </p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
started seriously worrying about my husband Rich's health when I came
back from a trip to Guatemala in October of 2009. He mentioned
casually that he had been sick one night while I was gone, but he
didn't elaborate on it and I didn't press him for details. I should
have. In the following days I started to notice that he was tired
all the time, frequently falling asleep at his desktop computer. The
next noticeable symptom of illness was his shortness of breath after
climbing the stairs to our second floor bedroom. I started urging
him to go to his PCP but, as was typical for him, he resisted. It
got worse and worse. He would come downstairs on a weekend morning
after a full nights sleep, get a cup of coffee, sit down at the
computer and doze off before he'd even finished drinking his coffee.
<br /></span></span><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
was an engineer with RT Patterson. He sat at a desk most of the time
at work, designing piping systems for steel mills. I wondered how he
managed to stay awake at work. Later I would find out from one of his
co-workers that he had not been staying awake at work. He said,
“We'd pass by his office and say, 'there's Dick sleeping again.'”I
started <u>begging</u> him to go to the doctor, but to no avail. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
thought it was his heart. Rich was considerably overweight. He was
not a drinker and had given up smoking about five years prior to
this. He'd also given up eating red meat. I'm not sure which was
harder for him, giving up the cigarettes or the steaks he loved. I
had been vegetarian for about 20 years at that point and would share
with him the evils of red meat, until he finally gave in. Because he
had cut out the most likely causes of cancer, and because his father
had died of heart failure at the age of 55, I was pretty sure that
this was a cardiac condition.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
told our sons what was going on and asked them to talk to him. We
were going to our oldest son Richard's, for Thanksgiving and I
thought maybe we could do a kind of family intervention. Wouldn't
you know, he stayed awake throughout the gathering and the next day
my son called and reported that he thought Dad seemed like his normal
self. So it went on, with me pleading with him to go to the doctor
and him refusing. In desperation, I threatened to leave him if he
didn't make an appointment. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Christmas
was a nightmare for me. His lack of energy was so bad that it
literally took him three days to string the lights on our Christmas
tree, a task that would normally take him about an hour. He would
do a little bit, then sit on the couch and fall asleep, wake up a
while later, do a little more with the lights, sit down and fall
asleep. I was at my wit's end.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some
time between Christmas and New Years he informed me that he had made
a doctor's appointment, but he seemed annoyed about it, like he was
only doing it to appease me. Rich reported that the doctor suggested
an exercise program and he was going to put him on a diet. He
ordered a stress test to be taken the next day. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He
was getting ready for work on the morning when he was to go back for
the results of the stress test and I asked him whether he would like
for me to accompany him. “No” he said. “You're not invited.”
I was very hurt and when he went to kiss me goodbye before leaving
for work, I pushed him away. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
the early evening, I was waiting for him to come home when I received
a call from his PCP. He said that <i><u>as soon as Rich came home</u></i>
I had to get him to the emergency room at Jefferson Hospital. He had
suggested that Rich stop at the lab and get a blood count on his way
out and his hemoglobin was dangerously low. When Rich came in I told
him what the doctor had said and we got in the car and drove back to
the hospital.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The
healthy range for hemoglobin for men is</span></span></span><span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><b>
</b></span></span><span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">13.2
to 16.6 grams per deciliter.</span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">
Rich's hemoglobin count was 4.5. At the emergency room they told me
that they didn't know how he was even able to walk through the door.
They started giving him blood transfusions in the ER and admitted him
to the hospital. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<br />
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If an injury caused
a person's hemoglobin to drop that low, which would result from a
massive loss of blood, the person would be dead. Because Rich's had
been dropping over a period of months, his body had been struggling
to make adjustments. </span></span>
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<br />
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I should have known,
but I was so sure that it was his heart. Richard's wife, my
daughter-in-law, Carina, later said that she had noticed that he was
very pale. I had not noticed that. Perhaps when you live with
someone and some physical feature changes gradually it's not as
obvious.</span></span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">They gave Rich four
units of blood that night. The next day he was given two more units
of blood and scheduled for a colonoscopy. The colonoscopy revealed a
sizeable tumor. He was scheduled for surgery the following day with
the same surgical group who had done my surgery only a year before. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
September of 2008 I had surgery for a torn rotator cuff. The surgery
went well, but there is generally a high degree of post-operative
pain with that procedure and the surgeon gave me the standard
post-surgery order for percocet, which contains the opioid pain
reliever, oxycodone. Even though I didn't take it as often as
prescribed, the medication had the effect of slowing the movement of
my intestinal tract and eventually stopping it altogether. I was
hospitalized and the doctors tried various things to get things
moving, but nothing worked and, while I was in the hospital, my colon
burst. A significant portion of my colon was removed and I went home
with the dreaded colostomy bag. Three months later, in Jaunary of
2009, I had the reversal surgery. I learned that 90% of the people
who got to the state I was in do not make it. The doc who did my
surgery saved my life. I hoped that he could also do Rich's but, he
was totally booked up in the OR.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
prayed that Rich's surgery would reveal an isolated tumor that could
be easily removed and that would be the end of it. My
daughter-in-law, Melinda, sat with me throughout the day as we waited
for him to go through pre-op, surgery and the recovery room. It was
a very long day. I was anxious but hopeful when they finally told us
to go into the little post-surgery conference room, but when I saw
the look on the surgeon's face as he came down the hall, I knew the
news was not going to be good. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">They
had removed the tumor in his colon and stitched it back together.
But the cancer had metastisized to his liver and lymph nodes. He
didn't beat around the bush. “We can treat this, but we can't cure
it.” The prognosis he gave was for about fifteen months. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On
the ward I ran into the doc who had done both of my colon surgeries.
He was reading Rich's chart but hadn't made the connection to me
until he saw me. I told him what his partner said about fifteen
months, but Dr. Cline was skeptical. He stood up and gave me a big
hug “I'm afraid I'd say more like eight months,” he said.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
called son Richard.<i> “After all these years of hard work, Dad's
not going to be able to enjoy retirement</i>, I sobbed. He came
right to the hospital. Rich was too groggy for us to talk to him
that night, so we agreed to meet back there early the next morning so
we could talk to Rich before the doctor came in with the dire news.
At home, I took down a bottle of vodka that had been in the cabinet
for years, made myself a stiff drink, and cried until there were no
tears left. That's probably not what would be expected (even in a
crisis) of someone who considers herself to be “on the spiritual
path,” but with the help of the vodka, I was able to cry myself to
sleep and get up the next morning to tell my husband the worst news
of our lives.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
have to back up here to explain the “spiritual path” thing.
Raised a Roman Catholic, I had left the church and gone on a journey
to find what I hoped would be a flawless religious community about
fifteen years prior to this. I never stopped believing in Jesus
Christ as my savior, but some incidents at my church had
disillusioned me. I bounced around from one denomination to another
for a while – Quaker, Unitarian Universalist, Episcopalian, In
1999, through a mutual acquaintance, I came in contact with an
inter-faith spiritual teacher, Victor “Vyasa” Landa, who had a
yoga school, called the School of Life, and an ashram in Bethesda,
Maryland. I had recently taken up yoga and was intrigued by the
concept of a yoga/spiritual community. So when I was invited to the
ashram for an event promoting biodynamic agriculture, I decided to
attend one of his classes. It was not like anything I had ever
experienced. It was about 2 ½ hours of yoga postures, interspersed
with spiritual readings that all the students were invited to comment
on. I loved it, and it wasn't long before I was taking monthly
weekend trips to the yoga ashram. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
loved what was happening there. Everybody was working on their own
spiritual path with Victor's guidance, and also working on creating a
community based on mutual respect and cooperation, leading to peace
and harmony. Exactly what I had been looking for. I was not willing
to go so far as to join the community; I had no desire to leave my
home and family in Pittsburgh. But I embraced the spiritual
teachings and became heavily involved in the work of the School of
Life. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Shortly
after the events of 9-11, Victor decided to start a non-profit whose
purpose would be to create a coalition of organizations that would
work together to replace violence with respect, compassion and love.
Victor, his wife Linette and I were the initial founding members of
Global Coalition for Peace. Other members of the ashram quickly
joined. In the ensuing years GCFP took on a number of projects,
from organizing a worldwide weekly meditation for peace, to
organizing the first peace parade, to holding peacemeals, and more. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For
a number of years I had been writing and teaching about vegetarian
nutrition and intensive/organic vegetable gardening. Those
activities gave rise to the development of a program I called the
Women's Self Reliance Program. GCFP adopted the program and made it
possible for me to bring it to impoverished women in Guatemala.
That's why I was in that country when Rich first started feeling
sick. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
continued the spiritual studies with Victor and I learned what it
means to follow a spiritual path, the dedication involved in making
one's spiritual development the most important element of your life.
But as the years went on and the scope of Victor's school expanded, I
found that I was not comfortable with some of the political attitudes
and affiliations with other organizations. I also realized that
there are no perfect religious communities and eventually came to the
conclusion that while that community may be exactly what some of the
ashram members needed, the search for my own path was ongoing.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">While
I was in the hospital undergoing the colon surgery, realizing that I
had come very close to death, I asked to see a priest so I could make
my confession. I told the priest about the incidents that had sent
me away from the Church and how in the meantime I had become a lot
more aware of my own imperfections (Victor had certainly helped with
that) and that nothing and nobody on this earth is perfect. I
started going back to mass after that and felt more comfortable there
than I ever had. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Victor
encouraged us to continue in whatever spiritual practice we were
drawn to. He believed, as the Dahlia Lama states, <i>“The best
religion is the one that makes you a better person.” </i> So my
return to Catholicism was never a problem. I continued to make
monthly trips to the ashram until Rich became sick. My attachment to
the ashram has gradually lessened since then, but the main lessons
that I learned over the eighteen years that I studied with Victor
Vyasa Landa, have had a permanent effect on my way of thinking and
living. I'm grateful that I was actively seeking a spiritual
foundation for my life when Rich was diagnosed with cancer.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some
of the references I make in the diary are to spiritual works from
teachers that Victor introduced me to and others are to teachers I
have been fortunate to stumble across. The teacher who gave me the
confidence to carry on throughout Rich's illness, and since then, is
St. Ignatius of Loyola. His Spiritual Exercises were exactly what I
needed and what worked for me. But my recounting of my spiritual
journey during Rich's illness is not an attempt to indoctrinate
anyone. How the spirit moves one is a very personal thing.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
did not accept the doctor's prognosis. We discussed an alternative
plan from the chemotherapy one the oncologist touched on while Rich
was in the hospital. I was familiar with a cancer treatment program
called Gerson Therapy. <span style="color: #202124;"><span lang="en"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">
It consists of a complex dietary regimen to “detoxify” the body
and rebuild the immune system, adding vitamin and mineral supplements
to help in these processes, and a daily program of coffee or
chamomile enemas to help flush the toxins from the body.</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
Gerson Therapy the patient consumes 13 8oz. Glasses of a variety of
organic juices every day. They also eat three vegetarian, salt-free,
specially prepared meals a day and nothing else, except certain
fruits. No meat or fish, no baked goods or sweets, no fats or oils,
no coffee or other liquids. The juices have to be freshly made every
time with a special type of juicer that involves a two-stage process,
and the juicer has to be broken down and cleaned after each use. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
had known about Gerson Therapy for some time and even written about
it in my book, <i>What I've Learned About Food and Peace.</i> Son
Richard, who is a journalist, had interviewed and reported on a
person who had cured himself of cancer with Gerson. The only
licensed Gerson Clinic at the time was in Tijuana, Mexico where the
therapy is taught to a patient and caregiver during a two-week stay,
after which the patient is to continue it at home for a minimum of
two years.</span></span></span></p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
read up on Gerson Therapy but reserved a decision until after our
first visit to the oncologist's office. We learned that the cancer
was throughout his liver and that was what made his condition
incurable. The doctor laid out the chemotherapy treatment plan to
try to temporarily shrink the tumors. Rich didn't say much during
the office visit, but on the way home he said, “I guess we're going
to vacation in Tijuana this year.” </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We
downloaded the application to the clinic. It asked a lot of
questions about his diagnosis, general physical condition, health
history, etc. Rich wanted to fill it out himself so I didn't
interfere. We sent it back to the Gerson Institute and waited for a
response and a date for admittance. I don't remember what the cost
of the two weeks at the clinic was, but it was in the thousands.
(Today it's $15,000.) We didn't care. We just wanted to do something
that would give us hope. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
went back to work while we waited to hear back from the institute.
When we did it was a huge letdown. They would not accept Rich as a
patient. The person who called was honest. She said that Rich's
condition was too far along and by taking high-risk patients they
would be jeopardizing the reputation of the clinic to produce cures.
She offered the alternative of a Gerson coach who would supervise
Rich's treatment from afar. We would pay a fee that would cover the
coaching and the supplements, which would be mailed to us. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">That
was one of the worst days of my life. We had put our hopes in the
clinic in Tijuana and to be told that he was too sick for them to
take him was devastating. I also questioned whether I could pull
the treatment off by myself. But when Rich got home from work, we
talked about it and decided that we would do it. Rich would have to
work from home and I would have to give up all my other activities.
We were willing; at that point it was our best hope. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
knew that the yoga ashram had one of the special juicers and would
let me borrow it. We informed the Gerson Institute that we would be
doing the home program. Rich talked to his boss, who agreed to Rich
working at home for a while. Son Rob generously offered to help by
shopping for the 15-20 pounds of fresh produce needed every day to
make the juices. We told the oncologist what we were planning to do
and, although very skeptical, he wished us well and agreed to keep
watch over Rich's bloodwork. So we set the date of February 18th to
start. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>Please
Note: This post is not an endorsement of Gerson Therapy or any other
alternative cancer treatment.</b></i> </span></span></span>
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p lang="en" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: #202124;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My
journal during Rich's battle with cancer follows.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/15/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My prayer this
morning, on the morning of Rich's surgery<br />Since I know that
whatever You have determined, Heavenly Father, will be the outcome,
please help me to accept your will and to do whatever You desire of
me to make it as peaceful as possible for all concerned. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/17/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A thought about
family and community. We have been told in the School of Life,
that family is just a circumstance of birth and that we should be
ready and willing to leave our family to pursue the spiritual path.
Jesus even said the same. But when I look at the lives of my
own family members, my sisters and brothers and my own life, I think
that perhaps that directive was intended for people who are ready to
abandon the material life to pursue union with God. Most people
in this world are not ready for that and for those people I believe
that dedication to the family is the next best thing.</span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I look at how my
brother-in-law, Jim Keesee, ended his life, with Mary at his side,
surrounded by his family. And through all the years of his
illnesses, he had the support of his family. He died with Love,
God's love coming to him through his family. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My father, too.
Despite all of the pain that the illness of alcholism caused to Mom
and to some of his children, he was never abandoned. Mom stuck
by him through it all, and that was her legacy to us. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich is now going
through what may be the biggest challenge of his life with this
cancer diagnosis. I am here for him. His sons are here
for him. And he is handling it very well. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">All
of these people, Jim, Dad and Rich might have been desolate without
the devotion and support of their wives and families. I believe
we are teaching each other about Love, devotion and commitment.
And, it seems to me that, these virtues must be developed within our
earthly relationships before we can transfer them to our relationship
with God. </span><i> </i></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2/5/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">Heavenly
Father,</span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">I
am immensely grateful for this opportunity to express my love and
gratitude to You and my love for Rich by taking care of him during
his illness. All of our lives he has taken care of me and our
sons. Now I have the opportunity to show him how much I love
and appreciate him. </span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">It's
wonderful to see how the people he works with, our neighbors, and our
family members hold him in such high regard and care about his
welfare. It's wonderful too, to see how the love and
friendship of so many people in my life, some who hardly know him and
some who don't know him at all, is extended to Rich during this
crisis.</span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">Heavenly
Father, please give me the physical, emotional and spiritual
strength, the patience, the compassion and the love that I will need
to be the best caregiver that I can possibly be. Help me to do
my work with no expectations and no attachment to the outcome, with
only gratitude for the opportunity to serve as your instrument.
And whatever the outcome may be, Lord, let me continue, for the rest
of my days here on Earth, to serve You by serving other people in
whatever ways I can. </span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2/15/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm
scared. I admit, I'm scared. The challenge that lies ahead of
me is intimidating, but if I face it hopefully and joyously with
gratitude for the opportunity to “pay what I owe,” I
believe I will be okay. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
am not out to save Rich's life. My goal is to express my
gratitude and appreciation for Rich's life, by giving him the best
care that I can. The outcome, the result of our efforts, is up
to God. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">Right
now I am at peace with all of the people in my life. I want
very much to keep it that way. But even more important is that
I keep peace with my Self. I must not make promises to people
that I can't keep. Even if it is an unspoken one, I must make <u>every
effort </u>to keep that promise. </span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2/28/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We
are ten days into the Gerson therapy to rid Rich of cancer. It
is grueling work. Since I am making the juices downstairs, I am
up and down the stairs dozens of times a day. My body aches, my
shoulder, my back, my knees, especially my left knee which has been
swelling as the day goes on. I'm taking ibuprofen and it helps
some but I'm concerned about what it will do to my organs if I keep
on taking it on a daily basis. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But
none of this really matters. I will try to take care of myself,
to the best of my ability but the main goal, my job, the work that
God wants me to do at this point in my life, is to take care of Rich
and even if I have to give my own life (and there are moments when I
feel like that's what is happening) then so be it. This is
total surrender and it feels right. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3/16/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yesterday
I was happy and at peace with myself, despite the uncertain future
that is ahead. Why? Because I know that I am doing exactly what I
should be doing at this time in my life and even though it's hard
work, it's based on honesty and love, so it has to be what God wants
me to be doing. Even if the outcome is not what we are hoping and
praying for, it's still the best thing I can be doing and I'm doing
it well.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3/31/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But
I must stop taking myself so seriously, stop trying to live up to the
image that some people have of me and just be the best person I can
be and not stress because I'm not a saint.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">4/9/2010</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">This
is my life, Gerson caregiver, gardener, writer. It's a good life. I
don't know how long it will be this way, maybe for the rest of my
life.* I have to find ways to spend time with my extended family and
friends and then it will be fine. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">This
is the message I would like to pass on to my children and
grandchildren, if I could:</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There
comes a time in a person's life, if he or she is fortunate, when they
realize that all the things that seemed so appealing, that they
thought would bring them happiness, are empty promises. Alcohol,
sex, wealth, drugs, prestige, physical beauty, fame – just give us
momentary pleasure which we often end up paying for many times over
in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain, anguish, remorse
or emptiness. There's only one thing that will bring lasting peace
and happiness and that is the giving of unconditional love. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
doesn't mean that once a person comes to this realization he or she
can never have a drink, buy something that delights them, have sex
with the person they love, enjoy looking pretty, etc. Of course not.
But they will do so with the full understanding that this is not the
key to happiness and they will not risk the integrity of their body,
mind or spirit by constantly seeking out those momentary pleasures
and giving them far more importance and attention than they deserve.
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Unconditional
love is the divine spirit within us. It's a term that is batted
around a lot lately. “Oh yes, I love my boyfriend, my wife, my
child, my friend unconditionally, but...” There are no “buts”
in unconditional love and once it is recognized and awakened within
us, it is extended to everyone; there simply is no choice; like God's
love, it's unconditional. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
doesn't mean that you will find every person equally appealing. It
doesn't mean that if someone is abusing you, you will just grin and
bear it (unconditional love includes love for yourself). It means
compassion and understanding towards everyone and hatred for no one.
It means recognition of that spark of divinity, that core of
goodness, in every single person on earth and therefore treating
everyone respectfully. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Although
one never looks for this in the giving of unconditional love, it will
bring unimaginable rewards. All the joy, all the peace, all the self
-acceptance that one was searching for but failed to find in the
escape mechanisms, they will be flooded with when they learn to give
unconditional love. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's
there in every one of us, so go find it in yourself. It may be just
a spark at first, but if you pay close attention to it, nurture it,
make it grow, it will turn into a light that will fill your whole
life with all that your soul has been seeking. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
DO NOT always live by this understanding. It is what I've come to
believe, not due to any saintliness on my part, but due to
experience, to making innumerable mistakes and to having had some
exceptional teachers. <br />*<i>For advanced cancer cases it's
recommended that the patient continue with the therapy for three to
five years, which at the time seemed like forever.</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">4/28/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
Gerson Therapy is so physically demanding. I get up at 4:30 to say
my prayers and do my readings and yoga practice. No matter what else
I'm doing during the rest of the day, I have to stop at five minutes
before the hour and go down to the basement to make juice. The
juicing and clean-up takes about 20 minutes, barring any green juice
catastrophes.* Then I usually have food preparation or dishes to
clean up upstairs. If I'm lucky, I have 20-30 minutes to do a little
gardening or write in this journal. <br />*<i>There were four types of
juice: grapefruit, green juice made from greens, carrot and apple
juice, and plain carrot juice. For some reason, in the first stage
of making the green juice which involved the juicer pulverizing the
greens, green mash would sometimes squirt out of the juicer onto the
ceiling. It was enough to make me cry.</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
busiest times of the day are 1. between 6:30 and 8:15 in the morning,
when I prepare his breakfast, get the water distiller going for the
day, strain the coffee concentrate, water my seedlings, make up the
bed, take a shower, then run downstairs and wash and set up all the
vegetables for the day's juicing, make the first juice and clean up
and 2) between 6:00 and 8:15 pm when I make the 6:00 juice and clean
up, get his dinner started, run downstairs and make the 7:00 and 8:00
juices, back upstairs to check on dinner and serve the soup, back
downstairs to do a final clean-up for the day which means washing all
the filter cloths, giving the machine a good cleaning, cleaning up
the floor, etc.; back upstairs to serve the rest of his dinner and
eat my soup and finally wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen one
last time for the day.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There
are sooooo many dishes to wash throughout the day, every day.
There's the dishes from breakfast, including the little juicer, the
coffee concentrate dishes (pot, two measuring cups, mixing spoon, the
filter cloth), the lunch dishes which include three or four pots and
pans, the twelve juice jars, the dinner dishes – again including
three or four pots, and on days when I make soup, the soup-making
dishes. Before I can get one bunch of dishes washed and start to
empty the drying rack, there are more dishes accumulating. This on
top of having to wash down the juicer twelve times a day is really
overwhelming at times.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">There
have been days when I have had to make a choice between taking the
time to have a bowel movement or taking a shower. That sounds absurd
but it's true. Of course, considering my past history, I chose the
former. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/5/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
God is Love and all is God, then everything that happens to me is a
loving gift from God. My part is to accept each gift and show my
gratitude by making the most of it.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even
the most frightening occurrence is a gift from God. When my body was
racked with the worst pain I had ever experienced, I was able to
realize that my life is a gift from God. Rich's cancer is a gift from
God, too. It offers us this time together, time to grow in love and
appreciation for one another. It offers me more time to learn about
gardening so that one day, if it is God's will, I will be able to
teach the new things I'm learning to others.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How
can I “maintain my awareness that it is the law of karma in action,
helping me to learn from my actions, both by paying my debts, or
collecting for my deeds, receive both graciously, and remember that
the purpose is to learn through all of them?” How can I remember
this throughout the day, when the work load seems so heavy and my
body aches? </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/7/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For
some time now I've been praying that I will be able to remember my
“true self” and the image of a little girl who loved everyone and
wanted peace and happiness for everyone comes to mind, but this
morning I remembered another little girl, a daredevil, a risk taker,
a showoff, who used to swing on a vine over what looked like a
bottomless chasm when we visited our friends in the Bronx, and hang
by her heels from the top bar of the gym set. I had forgotten about
her but she is still very much a part of me. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/14/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Perhaps,
to remember and bring my true self forward, I need to just keep
silent when the false self is prevalent. This worked pretty well
yesterday when I was exhausted and consumed with anger over this
present situation and angry with Rich for his seeming insensitivity.
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/24/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
other night I read an article on the CNN website about a case of
child abuse that ended in the death of the child. It upset me
so much; I felt like my heart would break for that child. I ask
myself, what could possibly make a person do such things? </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
morning I am depressed. I wonder how long will this life of
making juice and doing dishes go on? I am tired and achy all
the time. Rich is tired too. We have no idea when this is
going to end. We have no idea what the future will be or
whether he has much of a future left. I keep trying to live in
the moment and to tell myself that everything is okay here and now.
But it doesn't always work, especially at the end of the day when I'm
really tired. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So
this morning I ask myself, why can't I just accept things as they
are, be grateful that Rich is feeling okay right now, that we have
this comfortable house and the resources to proceed with this
therapy. Why can't I just be happy? The answer is the
same as the answer to the other question of how someone could beat an
innocent child to death. The answer is FEAR. Fear
produces rage.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It
is not money or even greed that is the root of all evil; it is fear,
fear that we will not get what we need – food, shelter, rest, and
especially love. And nothing is going to take those fears away
except FAITH.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/26/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This situation has
put me in an interesting position, in that I have no clear vision of
the future. I don't know how long I'll be in this situation or what
the final outcome will be. It's a demanding life, but not obnoxious
as long as I can think of it as temporary. But what is temporary?
Two months? Two years? It is possible that I will spend the rest of
my useful life doing what I'm doing; and even that would not be
unimaginable if I could get out and about a bit more. The problem is
that all the ways that I imagine spending the rest of my life (which
won't be so very long since I am already 61 years old) involve
getting out and about <u>a lot more </u>than this lifestyle allows.
So maybe what I need to do is to put together a totally satisfying
life, doing what I'm doing here and now. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have always wanted
to touch other people's lives in a way that will bring them peace and
happiness. Maybe I can do that right from where I am – teaching
people about gardening through the internet, introducing children to
the understanding of abundance and the joys of gardening through the
Sean the Veggie Man stories,* having some involvement in local
efforts to create a more peaceful world. If I do this I can also
stay close to my children and grandchildren and perhaps bring some
peace and happiness to their lives, while I strive to continuously
learn more about my Self.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>*two
children's books that I wrote</i></span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6/2/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are in week #14
of Gerson Therapy. Rich is still feeling good but his last
bloodwork showed a marked increase in the cancer markers. The
number is still not exceptionally high but the fact that they are
increasing rather than decreasing is very disturbing. The only
outward sign of his not being well is the weariness in his eyes.
He often looks very tired. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am learning about
the power of resignation, which has been the theme of the Kahn*
readings lately. He points out that it is resignation to the
small things in life that we struggle with the most, since we really
don't have any choice but to resign to the big ones. This is so
true in my life right now. We had no choice but to resign to
the fact of Rich having cancer and to do the best we can to
restore his health, but I struggle with the small things, like having
so many dishes to wash, and the juice jars. He always leaves
them right next to the sink instead of just rinsing them when
he's finished drinking the juice. Sometimes by evening I want
to take the juice jars and throw them at the wall. But I'm
practicing resignation. I'm working at offering everything I do
to God (“All for the greater honor and glory of God.” Right,
Mom?). <br /><i>*Hazrat Inayat , Sufi master and teacher
(1882-1927)</i></span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Silence is another
practice that I've found to be of great value in this situation, just
keeping my mouth shut </span></span>
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6/7/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">I'm
struggling mightily. I'm tired </span>all the time.
Sometimes I'm so tired that I can't focus on what I'm doing; I lose
track of where I am in the juice-making process. Sometimes I'll
be standing at the juicer or in the kitchen preparing something for
Rich to eat and I will feel dizzy, like I'm going to fall over. When
I sit down to dinner with Rich he wants to make conversation but I'm
too tired to talk. The other night he asked me whether I was upset
with him. <i>“No, just tired.”</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's
not sleepiness (I never slept so well in my life), it's weariness.
I'm constantly watching the clock. I can <u>never</u> just
relax. Even during my morning prayers I'm watching the time
worrying whether I'm going to have enough time to get everything in
and get to making his breakfast on time. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
we go out somewhere together, like when we went up to the camp, I'm
exhausted by the time we leave because of the marathon juice-making
and food preparation that has to happen before we leave. If I
go out by myself, I'm watching the clock and as soon as I get back
home I have to jump into juice-making. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
don't know how much longer I can keep this up. It's five weeks
until he has another PET scan. And then what? I want so
much to be able to perform this work joyfully, hopefully and lovingly
but HOW? How can I make this a good time in our lives when I'm
constantly exhausted? </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
need God to give me some answers .</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Note:
Some Sundays son Richard would come for a few hours and do the
juicing so I could go out.</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<h1 class="western" style="font-style: normal; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6/8/2010</span></span></h1>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This morning during
the chakra meditation, the part where we focus on the sixth chakra
and we say, “I open myself to Kutasha shaytanya or the Christ
consciousness, I had a vision of myself pulling a heavy load behind
me. It was like a big box that was attached to my back. And the
thought came to my mind, <i>You will be open to the Christ
consciousness when you get rid of that baggage</i>. I think I know
what the baggage is. I'm going to work at getting rid of it. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 576px;">
<colgroup><col width="576"></col>
</colgroup><tbody><tr>
<td width="576">
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/15/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today
we will find out whether all the effort we have been expending
over the past five months to make Rich well has had any effect on
the cancer. Ever since the last PET scan three and a half
months ago, I have been both wanting this day to come and dreading
its arrival. I realize this morning that all the emotion
that I've felt over this event is based in fear, and to allow this
fear to manipulate me is weakness, a weakness that I have the
power to overcome. I recently read the statement that when
we get rid of the fear there is only pure love. Pure love is
what I should be nurturing, love for Rich, to be his strength, to
bring him joy, regardless of the information we receive today.
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My
fears are selfish. I don't want to be without him. I
don't want to have to see him suffer. He is the one
who has this cancer. He is the one who is facing the
possible end of his time on earth and the uncertainy of what lies
beyond. All of my thoughts should be on him and my faith in
God should dispel my selfish fears because I know that He does not
give us more than we can bear. Right?</span></span></p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/16/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well,
the news was not good. The cancer has grown in his liver and
has apparently spread to one of his adrenal glands. He will
start a low-dose oral form of chemo. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
is in denial. It isn't what he was expecting and he doesn't
quite believe the doctor. He wants to see the PET scan himself
and compare it to the first one. When I asked him last night
about how he would want to spend his time if Dr. Laman is correct and
he has, at most, two years, he just said, “I don't believe that.”
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He
claims that he feels fine but he doesn't. He tires easily.
He has abdominal discomfort, which he refuses to classify as “pain.”
He continues to function on the job as though he will be there as
long as he chooses. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes,
this is admirable, certainly more admirable than crying about it, but
it makes it impossible for me to talk to him about what might lie
ahead for him and for me. Maybe a time will come when he will
be willing to talk about it, maybe there will be a miracle and that
time will never have to come. For now, I will continue to
function on the premise that he can be cured of this cancer.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">God
help us.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/21/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
will start chemo today. I'm anxious, worried about how it will
affect him. Will he suffer from the typical side effects?
Will this treatment raise his hopes for recovery, only to be dashed
again? So far God has granted my primary prayer in all of this,
that he not have to suffer greatly, but what now?</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It
would have been a wonderful thing if the Gerson Therapy had worked,
but it didn't. Now, with him starting chemotherapy, I have such
mixed emotions. If it could cure him, that would be great but
if it will make him miserable just to prolong his life for a few
months, then I don't think it's worth it. As much as I am
filled with fear at the prospect of being without him, even more I am
filled with fear at the prospect of seeing him suffer. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
don't know how I will be able to handle either one. But it's
not my job to figure it out. Whether Rich survives this cancer
is up to God. My job is not to try to make plans for the
future, but to do the best I can with each day. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/22/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
morning I realized that the thing I fear is me. I thought I was
afraid of being without Rich, of being “alone.” I thought I
was afraid of having to see him suffer. I thought I was afraid
of making the wrong decisions. It's all a matter of being
afraid of me, of the ego part of me that says, “You can't handle
things without the constant support of other people. You can't
make the right decisions.” I thought I was afraid of Sue, of
what will happen if I'm not constantly watching over her. I
thought I was afraid of doing harm to other people, and I am, but I
don't have to be, because my ego is not in charge. </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
will not be alone, because That of God is always with me. There
is the ego and there is That of God. Both are me. I don't
have to be afraid of the ego part, because That of God is stronger. </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Will
I be able to give Rich all the love and support he needs during the
coming months? YES! Will I make the right decisions
regarding the rest of my time on this planet, regarding Sue, etc.?*
YES! I will not rely on other people, not even Rich or Vyasa.
I will rely on That of God within me. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>*My
sister, Susan, suffered from mental illness all of her life. She
lived with my parents until my father had passed and my mother's
health made it impossible for them to live together. At that time,
in 1997, Sue came to live in Pittsburgh and I became her guardian.
She had a multitude of physical and mental health issues and was
transferred between a couple of different personal care facilities
during the time of Rich's illness.</i></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">9/24/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
two times in my life when I have been the most at peace with myself,
are when I was recovering from multiple surgeries and when I was
taking care of Rich after his cancer diagnosis. I was thinking
about how odd that is this morning and why this would be so.
Then the answer came to me, clearly and strongly. The reason
that those two times of my life were the most peaceful is because
they were filled with prayer. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">10/26/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For
the past two mornings I've been doing a sunrise meditation. The sky
has been perfectly clear on both mornings and the sunrises have been
spectacular. I can see the sunrise from the big bay window in my
living room. It comes up behind the houses that are a little bit
uphill from ours, and as it rises it illuminates the huge oak and
maple trees that tower above the housetops. The trees have lost
most, though not all, of their leaves now and the bright golden light
of the sun silhouettes them against the sky. Yesterday there was a
breeze and the remaining leaves were shimmying in delight as the sun
rose. Today the air is still</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As
I watch this beautiful phenomenon of nature unfold, I'm filled with
awe and appreciation, gratitude for this incredible universe that God
has created, and a prayer springs from my heart.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Heavenly
Father, You have made such an amazing and wonder-filled world for us.
How can we possibly be angry or jealous, or hateful towards one
another? Here it is before us, for everyone to marvel at and enjoy.
Oh, Heavenly Father, please help us to get over our petty differences
and our insecurities so that together we can celebrate this wonderful
world with which You have gifted us and surely songs of praise and
gratitude will spring from all of our hearts </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">10/27/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Jesus
said, “Be ye perfect as my Father in Heaven is perfect. We
know what we must do to be perfect but we don't want to be perfect.
We're born with the knowledge of and desire for perfection but it is
“culturated” out of us. It is beaten out of us by the media
– television, radio, computers, billboards, newspapers and
magazines – a total indoctrination into the religion of material
satisfaction. From our earliest years on this earth we
are force fed a pablum of propaganda that tells us what we really
want is beauty, sex, luxury, constant satisfaction of our every
desire, certainly not to be like God. By the time we realize
that none of these things can give us happiness, the lie is so
ingrained in us that we feel powerless to combat it. And by the
time that realization comes to us, we have probably already
contributed to the indoctrination of our children. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Nevertheless,
the inner knowledge of what we should be and how we should live, the
knowledge of our true selves, never leaves us. The conflict
between what we know we should be and what we have become is so
intense that it causes physical and mental illness; drug, alcohol and
food addictions; a constant and fruitless struggle to come to a state
of peace. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How
do we break this cycle? </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> <span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">10/30/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
morning another sunrise meditation. This was the most amazing
experience yet. Just as I sat down and settled into a
meditation posture, the sun started to peek over the tops of the
houses. I watched it rise until it was fully in view, breathing
deeply and alternating between having my eyes open and closed.
When the entire orb was visible I gazed directly at the sun and
gradually it changed. It started to pulsate like a living thing
and the color changed from golden yellow to white but with a rim of
red around it. Then came an aura of alternating colors.
The aura would start out in a color I would describe as fuschia, a
vivid pink/purple color. Then it would change to a trio of
auras of yellow, blue and green, with the green being the strongest.
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
kept watching, allowing myself to blink as necessary but neither the
pulsating sun nor the colors went away. At times everything
else disappeared, the window, the housetops, the trees, and there was
just the sun, sending out thousands of living rays of color, like the
most incredible star imaginable. This alternated with the
auras of changing colors. I was a little bit scared that I
might be damaging my eyes as we've always been told not to look
directly at the sun, but I couldn't stop looking. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
was the most amazing and beautiful sight I've ever seen. Even
though I've tried to describe what I experienced visually, what I was
experiencing emotionally and spiritually cannot be described. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
morning before I got out of bed I was praying for a means to get
closer to God, for a means to put everything aside and just be with
Him. And He gave it to me. I do not deserve such a
blessing but I am deeply grateful for it. Now if only I can
spend the rest of my day expressing that gratitude </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">11/03/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
know there is only one way to peace of mind and that is complete and
absolute surrender to God. There is no question about this in
my mind. What does it mean to my life? Can I even do it?
I have been moving in that direction but I feel like there is a big
hurdle that has to be gotten over now. I have to completely
stop looking for recognition or affirmation. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">11/04/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well,
I failed miserably yesterday at not looking for recognition and
affirmation. But today is a new day. I had a good
conversation with God this morning. I said, “I just want
peace, Lord. Can't I have peace?”</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He
said, “It's right there for you to have.”</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
said, “I have to stop looking for affirmation and just love You
through<br />your children.”</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He
said, “You won't get gratitude from me either, just my love.”</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
said, “That's all I should need.” </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">12/14/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe
one of the most important things I've learned is that it's never
going to be easy, not in this lifetime. I've been under the
impression that at some point it would just be easy to follow the
Law, to surrender to God's will and not feel any contrary desires or
emotions. I now believe that that is not going to be the case,
that it's always going to be a struggle, for as long as I am on this
plane. And I'm actually okay with that. I will keep
trying, but without the expectation that my efforts will suddenly
bring sainthood tumbling down on me. And more and more I
realize the value of Silence. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">12/25/2010</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Heavenly
Father,</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On
this day that we set aside for the celebration of your son, Jesus'
birthday, please help us to remember that we have nothing to fear
except the loss of our awareness of Your Presence, the loss of
awareness of Your Love. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We
can't lose Your Love. We are an emanation from You and that
which is of You is divine, is as perfect as You are. But
we can lose our awareness of Your Love and maybe that's the basis for
all fear. So please, Heavenly Father, let us use this day to
remember that You sent your son out of your profound love for us and
to show us the way back to You. Let us remember this greatest
of all gifts, the life of your Son, that you gave to us and that He
gave <u>for </u>us. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/15/2011</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
I Were an Angel</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
ever I become an angel and God gives me my choice of jobs I will ask
to be allowed to protect little children from those who would harm
them. I would ask that He allow me to stand between the child and
the one who is about to harm him and hold back the raised hand, or
else receive the blows myself. I would say to the harmer, “Strike
me instead, because this little child does not understand your anger,
your pain. He doesn't know what has driven you to this point, but
God does, and he has sent me to stop you. I would let the harmer
know that I am sorry for all he has gone through and beg him please
not to take it out on this child. And if the harmer needed to cry I
would give him my shoulder to cry on. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
don't know whether angels can feel pain but if so, I would gladly
take the pain in place of the child because for me it would only be
temporary but for the child who cannot understand, that pain may last
her whole lifetime and go on and on and on.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh
Heavenly Father, nothing tears at my heart more than to hear of a
child who has been abused. I know I haven't been good enough to be
granted my choice of jobs in Heaven but I'm going to try my very best
to to earn that right so I can be a protector of these innocent souls
if ever I become an angel. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/22/2011</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
many ways, Rich's illness has been a gift. That may sound
strange, but it is so true. It has allowed his best qualities
to come shining through, his stoicism, his acceptance of life, his
positive attitude, his complete lack of self-pity. His illness
has inspired me to look at this man to whom I've been married for
forty-three years from a different perspective. When I think
about the possibility of losing him, I realize how much he means to
me, how dependent I am on him for so many things, not just the
materials of my life but emotional support, true and unselfish
interest in the things that consume my life and a shared concern for
the most important people in my life, our children and
grandchildren. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On
my return trip from Venezuela,* I thought about how much his being
here means to me when I am on these journeys. When the plane
had to turn back from it's flight to Miami and return to Philly, when
it took five hours for the airlines to get us another plane and I
missed my flight to Venezuela, when we couldn't land in Barcelona due
to bad weather, it was Rich that I wanted to share my experiences
with and Rich whom I wanted to consult with about how to proceed.
Although what he really wanted was for me to turn around and come
home, he accepted my decision to go forward with the trip and
willingly advised me as to how to make that happen. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We've
come a long way in the past seven years. We've experienced a
crisis in our marriage, brought on by my decision to proceed with the
trips to Guatemala despite his disapproval. And we've both been
through life-threatening health crises. We've gone through all
of it together and, I believe, come out stronger both as individuals
and as partners. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
am humbled by his ability to make the transition from adamantly
protesting my international trips to supporting, and even being proud
of, the work I'm doing. Rich has been my example of
unconditional love. The image of him faithfully waiting for me
at the train station in the middle of the night on my return from the
first trip to Guatemala, despite his anger with me for going, is
forever etched in my mind and my heart. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
laughs a lot. Sometimes his laughter seems inappropriate and
I've even been embarrassed by it at times. But yesterday we had
a young man here to repair our FIOS service. He had to return
when we discovered that although the phone and internet services were
back, the TV wasn't working. We were his last call for the day
and I'm sure he wasn't happy about having to come back. But as
the two of them tried to locate the problem, Rich maintained his
jolly demeanor and before he left the young man was laughing along
with him. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
isn't always jolly. When things get a little chaotic, like when
the whole family is together and the grandkids get a little out of
control, he gets tense and tries to re-establish control by yelling
at the kids. I see now that chaos and lack of control are
situations that he doesn't deal with well but I understand that a lot
better than I used to; I understand that his unpleasant behavior is
based on this very strong need to feel in control of the situation.
This is a need that is inherent in all of us and each of us handles
it in our own way. My way may be just as foreign to him as his
way is to me, and this is where overlooking comes into play. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Every
morning when Rich comes downstairs and cheerfully says, “Good
morning, Hon,” I'm grateful that despite all the challenges
that we've faced, we've stayed together. We've maintained our
partnership and kept our family intact. And I'm grateful for
this time we have to love and appreciate one another before we have
to part. Thank you, God. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br />*I
took a one-week trip to Venezuela to teach organic vegetable
gardening at several orphanages and schools for underprivileged
children.</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">10/17/2011<br /></span></span></span></span></em><br />
</p>
<p style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">From
the Spiritual Exercises:*</span></span></span></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<br />
</p>
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">I
promise to fill your heart with my love and with gifts of peace and
courage and passion for sharing my love in service to others.</span></i></span></span></span></em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">
</span></span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Okay
Lord, please, do it! </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="border: none; margin-left: 0.25in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Please
let me hear the depth of your desire to accompany me along the path
to wholeness, to holiness. Please begin your healing in me. Please
let your healing free me so that I can serve you as you deserve, with
more and more of my heart. <br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">*In
the fall of 2011 I started a 34 week online course in the Spiritual
Exercises of St. Ignatius, called An Online Retreat in Everyday Life.
On a trip to the ashram (Rich had actually encouraged me to resume
my monthly visits after we stopped doing Gerson Therapy), Victor had
me watch a video about a certain faith healer. I was not at all
impressed by the subject of the video, but it started with a brief
bio of St. Ignatius of Loyola, which told of how he had given up
everything, including his royal inheritance, and put his life
entirely in God's hands. This hit me like a thunderbolt. I knew
that this was exactly what I would have to do if I was going to get
through the challenges that lie ahead. At home I started reading
about the life of St. Ignatius and discovered his Spiritual
Exercises.</span></span></span></span></span></em></p>
<p style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">12/09/2011</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Heavenly
Father,</span></span></span></span></em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">My
husband of 43 years has stage IV cancer. We've been dealing with it
for almost two years and what I've learned from this challenge in our
lives is that we are not in control; You are. So the only choice we
have is to surrender to your will, with love and with the faith that
You know what is best for us. I started the retreat after reading
about the life of St. Ignatius and his amazing capacity for
surrender. I know that in the months ahead being able to surrender is
going to be the difference between my spiritual life or death. The
examples of Mary, Joseph and Jesus are helping me to understand
exactly what this means and the depth of faith that we need in order
to say, </span></span></span></span></em><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"Your
will, not mine, be done." </i></span></span></span></em>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Thank
you for this retreat.<br /></span></span></span></span></em><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/09/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
the time is close for Rich to leave this plane, then I hope and pray
that God will help me to help him in whatever ways I can, to become
closer to Him and to his Beloved Son. Please, God, show me the way.
I am so grateful that God has given us this time to be together and
to express our love for one another. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/24/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last
night I read these words of C.S. Lewis:</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">“<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>We
must...recognize the real giver. It is madness not to because
if we do not, we shall be relying on human beings. And that is going
to let us down. The best of them will make mistakes; all of
them will die. We must be thankful to all of the people who
have helped us. We must honor them and love them. But
never never pin your whole faith on any human being; not if he is the
best and wisest in the world. There are lots of nice things you can
do with sand but do not try building a house on it.”</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">1/26/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Week
21 of the Spiritual Exercises has been about Jesus calling his
disciples to join Him in his mission. I have been praying that
Heavenly Father will show me how He wants me to join Jesus in the
mission of bringing His Kingdom to earth. I believe He has
reinforced the understanding that my role is to spread gardens
wherever I have the opportunity to do so. Opportunities have
come my way this week, both locally and in the Dominican Republic.
I have to embrace these opportunities with enthusiasm and with love,
despite whatever else is going on in my life. I have to keep
asking Jesus to guide me. The Exercises say that “<i>He does
not call to us from way up ahead, or above, but actually from beside
and behind. In a strange mysterious way, we watch him in front of us,
but he calls to us from behind. He so reverences our freedom that he
allows us to take this road or that, and he watches and follows. So
here is this Jesus who we watch so as to follow, and then he follows
our choices and watches how to more lovingly offer us gestures that
prove his fidelity to us.”</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So
I'm going to stop trying to figure everything out and just let Jesus
lead me from beside and behind. I think that's all I can do
because if I haven't been successful at figuring things out by this
time, I don't think I ever will be.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">2/03/2012</span></span></span></em><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">During
my trip to the DR I continued with the Spiritual Exercises and was
compelled to look at my worst sins. It has not been comfortable
or pleasant, but I am very grateful for this experience. In the
Exercises this morning it says, </span></span></span></em><em><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“The
will of God is that each of us be healed from not believing in God’s
love for us and for this world. Our blindness, our paralysis, our
being deaf, our being dead, are all embraced by Christ, and He takes
away our good excuses that once confined and defined us. He is sent
to touch us and then send us to embrace this bent world.”</span></span></em></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><em><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;">I
believe that God loves us and loves this world. I see His love
in the beauty of the earth and in the faces of the young people.
I think He showed me my sins to help me overcome my ego, something
that I've been praying for, for a long time. This is a healing
process and healing is never fun but it is necessary if we are to
live life to the full. </span></span></span></em>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2/15/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today
Rich will get surgery to have a “port” installed in his shoulder
to receive the chemotherapy that will hopefully shrink the tumors in
his body. I have been thinking this morning about how this will
affect my life, a very self-centered thought. Ever since he was
diagnosed two-plus years ago, I've been praying that, if possible, he
will be cured of this cancer but if not possible, or not God's will,
that he at least will not have to suffer greatly. So far, God
has answered my prayer and he has not suffered very much. But
this chemotherapy could change everything. We don't know how he
will react to it, but there is no doubt that there will be some side
effects. And this could go on for a long time. So my
thoughts were somewhat selfish this morning. How will this
affect my life? Will I not be able to travel in order to spread
the gardens? What if all I can do, in addition to taking care
of Rich, is to make my own gardens, perhaps act as a resource to
local gardeners and do my writing? Then, while reading some of
the “sharings” in the Spiritual Exercises I realized that that
would be okay. Even if Rich's cancer treatments go on and on
and my activities are severely limited, it will be okay; because
taking care of Rich, or even just being here for him, is a perfect
opportunity to express my love. Everything that happens to me
is an opportunity to express my love and gratitude,
EVERYTHING.<br /><br /><i>Note: Throughout Rich's chemotherapy
treatments he took the supplement Paw Paw, in capsule form. Research
into alternative cancer therapy recommended it for ameliorating chemo
side effects and it really seemed to work. When we would go for an
appointment with the oncologist, he would ask Rich whether he was
having this or that side effect and Rich would always say, no. We
were always upfront with him about what alternative things we were
doing and after a while he started taking notes.</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">3/4/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We're
going through the Stations of the Cross in the Spiritual Exercises.
Today the Station of the Cross, the second station, is about <span style="background: transparent;">Jesus
carrying his cross</span> to Calvary where He would be crucified.
In the Exercises we are told to try to imagine the crushing heaviness
of the cross. I think about the times when the trials in my
life have seemed to be crushingly heavy. There have been the
issues that revolve around Sue, there was the conflict in my marriage
over my trips to Guatemala, there were the times when I felt totally
let down by someone in whom, I had put my faith and trust. But
these crosses seemed to be so heavy because I made them that way.
The cross that Jesus had to carry to Calvary was very real and
probably unimaginably heavy.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yesterday
afternoon, riding through some of the poorer parts of Pittsburgh I
started to think about how fortunate I am, never having had to live
in a cold, or dirty or desolate environment. Granted, my
childhood home was far from always being pleasant, but we we always
had heat, food, adequate clothing, and we had Mom. I felt sad
that any child or adult has to live without the basic physical and
emotional necessities of life. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">4/2/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This
week's Spiritual Exercise is about looking back at the gifts we have
received through this experience. The greatest gift has been
the opportunity to feel closer to Jesus than ever before.
Equally important is the realization that God has always been with me
and the knowledge that he always will be if I just keep myself open
to His presence. The recognition of my own sins, faults, my
weaknesses, although painful has also been a gift, as has the
revelation of my OCD and the fact that the things about myself that
threaten to drive me crazy at times are a result of this
disorder. The belief that it is possible to spend all of one's
waking hours serving God, the genuine desire to do so and the
realization that this is a gift that I can keep opening hour after
hour, day after day, delighting in what I find inside is one that I
hope I will never grow tired of. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Take,
Lord, and receive <br />all my liberty, my memory, <br />my
understanding, my entire will—<br />all that I am and possess. <br />You
have given all this to me. <br />I now return it all to you. <br />It is
yours now. <br />Use these gifts according to your will. <br />Give me
only your love and your grace. <br />That is enough for me, and all
that I desire. <i>St. Ignatius of Loyola</i></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">5/30/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last
night I had a dream about being attacked. This man made it very
clear that he was going to attack me and I was trying to get away.
I was trying to get behind a door so I could lock him out. But
I couldn't move, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
don't dream these dreams very often but when I do I wake up feeling
terrified. Sometimes I call out during the dream and that's
what wakes me up; that's what happened last night. To my
knowledge, Rich never hears me when this happens, but I am always
comforted by his presence when I wake up. I'm always so glad
that he's there. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Last
night I thought about what it would be like to have one of these
dreams and not have him there beside me when I wake up. It's
like when I imagine what it would be like to go on a trip to another
country and not have anyone to call when I get there and no one
waiting for me to come back home - only worse. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How
empty this life will be if I have to do it without him unless I can
truly learn to be with Jesus at all times.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6/7/2012</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm
not sure what God wants me to do regarding attendance at yoga camp
this year. I know that my most important earthly responsibility
right now is taking care of Rich. He is by no means in a
critical state but has not been feeling well. He contracted a
severe cold which he can't seem to get rid of, although he said he
was feeling better this morning than he has for a couple of weeks.
</span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
feel confident that in addition to taking care of my family, my
purpose in life is to assist Jesus, in my miniscule way, at bringing
the Kingdom of God to earth by making gardens and teaching people
about gardening and nutrition. In so doing I hope to also
spread the love of Christ and his teachings. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">With
those understandings in mind, it is my intention to ask for His
guidance in all things, especially making decisions such as this.
In other words, where is it the most important for me to be at this
time? If I am going to be away from home (away from Rich) will
the travel truly serve to advance the purpose of helping to bring
God's Kingdom to Earth? Or am I just going because it's what I
want to do? So that is the question I am asking right now about
Summer Camp. I am waiting for a sign that will answer my
question. </span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black;">I'm
also having some serious concerns about going to Haiti in August.
I thought it would only be for a week but it seems that it's a
ten-day commitment and if I go to Washington to leave with the others
and return to Washington, that adds at least two more days to the
trip. I really don't want to be away from Rich for that long.
I'm thinking that it might make much more sense for me to do a
seed-saving and composting workshop in Maryland which someone who
will be going to Haiti could attend and then take the information
there.<br /></span><span style="color: black;"><i>Note: I didn't go to yoga
camp or Haiti that summer.</i></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">6/29/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes,
everything is changing. My relationship with my husband of 44
years is changing, my role in our partnership is becoming more
independent and responsible for things that were always his
responsibility, like taking care of the outside of the house.
He is more willing to listen to my thoughts on what we should do,
what he should do. These things are okay but the reason for the
change is that he has a fatal illness. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">NDW
says I should get out of my head and examine my feelings.*
Okay, I'm scared, scared of the part of this scenario where he will
be very sick and having to watch him suffer, scared of being without
him. Even now, although his suffering is not very bad, he is
obviously not feeling well and my heart aches to watch him going off
to work every morning, even though it's what he wants to do. I
want him to be robust and healthy again and I know the chances of
that happening are practically nil. I'm scared and I'm sad.
<br /><i>*NDW is Neale Donald Walsch</i></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7/11/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Two
very similar messages this morning:</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Eternity
is now.</i></span></span></span></p>
<p style="font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The
Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.</i></span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">What
do those messages mean when your husband is slowly dying of cancer
and your mentally ill sister is presenting you with her ongoing,
seemingly unresolvable, problems every day?</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">NDW
says not to live in the past or the future, but in the moment. Living
in the moment has become a popular concept in recent years but how
does one really do that? I understand to a degree and I've
gotten a little better at it. I can sometimes tell myself,
'this is what I'm doing now and this is a good thing to be doing, so
don't worry about the other things that are not getting done.'
And I can look at ways of maintaining my interests and activities
during this interim period in my life in which Rich is still
functioning but slowly delegating some of his traditional
responsibilities to me and the boys, in which he is sick and I don't
want to be away from him for long periods of time, but he isn't
critically ill so it's not as though I have to devote all my time to
taking care of him like I did during the Gerson Therapy days.
That level of devotion may come again but for now I have the freedom
and opportunity to live a full and “normal” life. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
thing is that I can't help thinking about the future and planning.
I'm a planner, always have been. So I think about what life
will be like without Rich, how I will adjust to the huge gap in my
life, and then I feel guilty for even thinking about it. I also
wish we could skip over the part where he becomes desperately ill,
where he suffers physically and loses the ability to do the things
that define him as a human being. That doesn't mean that I want
him to die soon; it's just that I would rather experience the pain of
losing him than that of watching him suffer. Maybe it won't be
as difficult for him as I fear and if that is the case, then it won't
break my heart either. What I pray for every day is that he
won't have to suffer too much with this cancer. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At
any rate, right now, today, he is tired and decided to stay home from
work this morning and rest. He had a restless night but he is
not suffering greatly. So I have much to be grateful for at this
moment.<br /></span></span></span><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">8/14/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well,
I failed again. I got annoyed with Rich because he couldn't eat
his dinner. When he called to say he was on his way home I
asked him what he wanted for dinner and he said codfish. So I
made the fish with some potatoes and green beans from the garden.
I made myself a little stir-fry with vegetables from the garden.
So he took a few bites and ate a couple of slices of the beautiful
garden tomato I had put out and that was it. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
his appetite was always bad I wouldn't feel offended but that's not
the case. It seems to only be bad when the food I prepare is
placed in front of him. So then I start thinking, maybe he's
subconsciously trying to punish me for his being sick. I know
that's a useless thought and I should not be offended. It's
probably more a matter of not being hungry when I prepare a meal
whereas if he prepares or goes out and buys something himself, it's
because he is hungry at that time. Anyway, if I was acting like
a “fully-realized being”* I would not let anything offend me.
Even if he were consciously or unconsciously trying to punish me for
his being sick, I would not let that offend me. <br /><br />*Fully
realized being is a term I learned from Victor. It means someone who
has come to a place of alignment of their personality with their
soul.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">12/24/2012</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Christmas
Eve. Peace on Earth. Good will to men. It is difficult to be at
peace when my husband is dying and I know that I will be without him
in the not too distant future. I am thinking about Jesus'
directive to simply "Love one another." How can I do
unto Rich as I would have him do to me, if I was<span style="background: transparent;">
the one with a fatal disease? This is what I am asking myself.
</span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">Well,
if it were me, I would want to know that certain things that are
really important to me would be adopted by him. For instance, I
would tell him how much Rob needs to know that he is loved and
appreciated and I w</span>ould ask him to keep that need in mind.
I would also ask him to help Richard and Carina to make a safe and
happy future for Zach in whatever ways he can. In general, I
would ask him to nurture and preserve peace and love between our
family members. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So
I need to ask him, what does he want me to preserve about our life
together. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today's
"student reflection" talked about Jesus being born in one's
heart and being "shown" through that person. But <span style="background: transparent;">what
I feel is more a matter of wanting to be absorbed by Jesus, taken
into </span><u><span style="background: transparent;">His</span></u><span style="background: transparent;">
heart, where I will never feel alone or abandoned again. </span></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">2/4/2013</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Rich
died three years and four days after he was diagnosed with colon
cancer. That was a year and two months more than the doctors'
best case scenario. During those three years we came to love
each other more than ever before in our forty-four year marriage; we
had many good times, loving times. We shared a common goal - to
rid him of the cancer that was destroying his body. We were not
successful but we both knew that we had given it our best shot and
that was a statement, on both of our parts, of the value we placed on
life in general and Rich's life in particular. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It
has now been sixteen days since Rich died. This was my first
day by myself, following my first night by myself. Between my sons,
my sister Margaret, and mostly my sister, Mary, I had not spent any
time by myself for the first two weeks and the past two days and
nights had been at the Shanti Yoga Ashram with my spiritual
community. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today
was weird. I was determined to start making some changes that I
feel will help me make this transition from one half of a
long-established unit to a single person. So I started emptying
out the closet in the room that had, for the past ten years or so,
largely served as Rich's home office. The tiny closet was
stuffed full of papers, computer accesories, cameras, photos and
camera accessories, disks and CDs covering a wide variety of
subjects, a box full of first aid items. The papers were the
hardest to sort through, some of them dated back ten years and
longer. there were reciepts and operation manuals for things we
had purchased for the house, some of which we had long-since
replaced. There were itineraries and directions to vacations
sites. The hardest item of all was a folder with his plans to
bike from Pittsburgh to Washington, DC when he turned 70.
<br /><br /><i>Note: Richard and his wife and two sons, who are avid
cyclists, took the bike route from Pittsburgh to Washington, DC the
year after Rich would have turned 70. Richard asked me to give him
something personal of Rich's to take with him. I gave him the warn
leather wallet that Rich had carried for many years. </i></span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Epilogue</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />Rich
was able to work until three days before he died. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On
New Year's Eve he was very uncomfortable and his stomach was
distended. We went to the ER and they tapped the fluid from his
abdomen, kept him overnight and sent him home the next day. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">He
spent a full day at work on Wednesday, January 16<sup>th</sup>. The
next day he had an appointment with the oncologist. He was not
himself that morning. I had to help him put his socks on and he was
irritable. By the time he got to the doctor's office he was kind of
disoriented. The doc had me take him right to the hospital. On
Friday they once again tapped fluid from his abdomen. That afternoon
he was on the phone with the guys who worked under him at the
enginering firm, telling them what he wanted them to do before he got
back there on Monday. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Shortly
after midnight that night I had a call from the hospital saying that
I should get over there right away. I called our oldest son and
asked him to call his two brothers. Within the hour we were all
there, including Rob's wife, Melinda. We spent about three hours
with him, holding his hands and talking to him, telling him that we
loved him. He struggled to make eye contact with us but was gasping
for breath and couldn't talk to us. Richard asked the nurse for
swabs to keep his mouth moist. At a little after 3:00 am he had a grand mal
seizure and within minutes after that he was gone. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When
I called Rich's boss late Saturday afternoon to tell him that Rich
had passed away he was incredulous. “What? I don't understand. He
seemed fine a few days ago.” When I tell peopole that my husband
had stage IV cancer for three years and worked up until three days
before he died they are unbelieving. They don't know how that can
be. Yes, he was stoic, but at the end the cancer was not only in his
liver but also in his lungs, his adrenal glands and apparently, at
the very end, in his brain, as well. The fluid build-up in his
abdomen was very uncomfortable and in the last few weeks he had back
pain, but somehow he kept going. Cancer was not able to rob him of
his dignity. All I know is that I prayed every day for three years
that if the cancer had to take him he would not have to suffer
greatly. And God answered my prayer.</span></span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
don't know how any cancer victim or their partner can go through an
ordeal like terminal cancer and stay whole unless they have divine
assistance. Finding the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius was my
salvation. Whatever a person's religious or spiritual affiliation
may be, I would urge them to turn to it, strengthen it and make it a
critical part of their personal treatment plan.</span></span></span></p>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-37149423017808886952021-05-03T15:48:00.000-07:002021-05-03T15:48:25.783-07:00Living in harmony with the animal kingdom doesn't mean they get to eat my garden<p> </p><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.2in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">If
the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass
springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple
things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for
your soul is alive.</span><br /></i><span style="background: transparent; color: black;"> Eleonora
Duse (famous Italian actress 1858-1924)</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hello
Fellow Gardeners,</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This
week w</span>e're going to talk about protecting your garden
against the various “critters” who like to reap the benefits of
your gardening efforts.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In
western Pennsylvania we have a huge deer issue. I hesitate to call it
a problem because I love to watch the deer grazing on the hill behind
our house and they were, after all, here before we were. However,
grazing on my garden is definitely an issue. Some of the deterrents
we've used are:</span></span></span></blockquote>
<ul>
<li><blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">stringing
gallon plastic jugs around the garden (They don't like the movement
of the jugs bouncing around in the breeze.)</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
</li><li><blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">stringing
old CD's around the garden (In addition to the movement of the CD's,
the sun reflecting off the shiny surface is apparently a deterrent)</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
</li><li><blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">five-foot
high wire fencing</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
</li><li><blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">and
finally</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
</li><li><blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">building
an elaborate structure around the garden. On the hill behind my
house two square foot gardens are enclosed in a six foot high fence
supported by 4"x4" s and accessed through a gate.
This was built by my husband and has worked beautifully.</span></span></span></span></blockquote></li></ul>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">All
of these measures have had some degree of effectiveness with the
above-described structure being by far the most effective. But not
everyone would want to go to that extreme. Some other measures that
I've heard of, but haven't tried, are to scatter human hair around
the garden, which apparently is also effective against those cute
little bunny rabbits, and to hang mothballs or strong smelling soap
near the garden.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">If
you're using chicken wire around the garden, make a little
“skirt” along the bottom. In other words, bend the bottom of the
fence outwards so that it lies flat on the ground. This will
discourage small animals from digging under the wire.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Here
are some suggestions for how to deal with the creep-crawly type of
pests.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">The
best methodology is to avoid them in the first place. Planting
marigolds or nasturtiums in or around the garden will help to ward
off nematodes, worm-like creatures that can wreak havoc on your
garden. Another tactic is to plant garlic, mint and onion around the
edges of the garden as a lot of potential pests are repelled by the
smell of these plants.</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">Believe
it or not, dandelions can be very beneficial to the
garden. Dandelions attract beneficial ladybugs and provide
pollen for their food. Ladybugs eat certain destructive insects like
aphids. Dandelions long roots give air to the soil and enable the
plant to accumulate minerals, which are added to the soil when the
plant dies. Not only are dandelions good for your soil,
they are good for your health. Dandelion leaves in a salad provide
beta carotene, an important nutrient, as well as vitamins C & A.
However, grow dandelions around the garden area rather than in the
garden as they will take nutrients from the soil that should go to
the vegetables.</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Cabbage
Worms – these are the worms that attack cabbage, cauliflower,
broccoli and brussel sprouts. You know they are there when you find
partially eaten leaves. If you look closely you will find worm
droppings and a tiny worm, almost the same color as the plant lying
at the stem of the leaf.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
best way to get rid of them is to pick them off and destroy them.
Then cut out the damaged portion of the leaves and wash away the
droppings with a gentle spray of water. Do this to all of the
affected plants.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Cut
Worms – cut worms cut down an entire plant by eating through the
base of the plant. Cut worms come out at night and go into the soil
to sleep during the day. To find them take a pointed instrument or a
pencil and gently dig a circle around the plant. You should find the
worm in the soil but if you don’t find it right away, keep making
wider circles around the plant until you find it. Then destroy it
right away by dropping it in salty or soapy water or it will quickly
burrow into the soil again and disappear.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Slugs
and snails – these pests can be detected by the slimy silvery trail
that they leave behind and small holes they eat into the plants. They
also eat at night and sleep during the day. They like to sleep under
boards, mulch or other cool resting places. If you put little planks
up between your garden squares, you can catch them sleeping under the
planks during the day. Pick them out of the garden and drop them into
salty or soapy water.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Ants
– You can try mulching the garden with coffee grounds. Thoroughly
cover any anthills with the grounds but also spread them on the
entire garden.</span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">And
then there is Neem Oil, an extract from a common shade tree native to
India and South Asia. The seeds of the tree, which hold the highest
concentration of the oil, are used in wax, oil and soap products. In
the garden it serves as a pesticide and anti-fungal agent. It can be
applied directly to the soil or sprayed on the plants. Distributors
claim it is effective on 200 species of chewing and sucking insects.
Neem oil spray can be purchased at most garden supply centers and online.</span></p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">But
if you prefer to make your own...</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><b style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;">Homemade Organic
Pest Control Sprays</span></b></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background: transparent;">#1
Buttermilk Spray: A mixture that’s great for getting rid of
pests in and around houseplants or vegetables is buttermilk and
flour. This is most effective for aphids, spider mites, thrips,
whitefly, worms and slugs. </span></span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">#2
Mix a pint of water, a quarter cup organic dish soap, two teaspoons
of paraffin and six tablespoons of finely chopped garlic. Soak the
mixture for a day, strain the ingredients and put the mixture in a
spray bottle</span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">#3 </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">8-10
cloves garlic</span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">7
or so Tabasco Peppers</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A
couple spoons of Murphy's Oil Soap</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A
couple spoons Canola Oil</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Habanero
sauce</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">a
couple spoons of organic, non-toxic liquid soap (such as is used for
washing dishes).</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thoroughly
mix the ingredients with just a little water, then mix with 1 quart
hot water. Bring to a boil and let it steep for a while. Strain the
veggie bits out with cheesecloth to make sure your spritzer bottle
doesn't get clogged. Then go to town on the bugs.</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"><b>Reflection</b>:
In the opening quote Eleanora Duse speaks about the simple things of
nature being a message for the living soul. John Burroughs, author
and naturalist got that message. My hope for you is that, during
this spring season, you will too.</span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“</i></span></span></span><span style="color: #181818;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;">To
find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water
exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening
saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a
bird's nest or a wildflower in spring — these are some of the
rewards of the simple life.”</span></i></span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; padding: 0in; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><b>John
Burroughs, American naturalist and nature essayist,</b></span></span></span></span> <span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><b>1837-192</b></span></span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Lato, Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><b>1</b></span></span></span></blockquote></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<br />
</blockquote>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-10524879319563961092021-03-31T09:59:00.000-07:002021-03-31T09:59:13.036-07:00...It's time to start planting.<p> </p><h2 style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background: transparent;">“</span><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;">If
spring came but once a century instead of once a year, or burst forth
with the sound of an earthquake and not in silence, what wonder and
expectation there would be in all hearts to behold the miraculous
change</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;">.”</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background: transparent;">Henry
W. Longfellow</span></span></span></span></span></span></h2>
<blockquote style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hello
Fellow Gardeners,</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Spring
is silently bursting forth once again. Let's take the time to
enjoy the miraculous change. Hopefully you've had some time to get
your garden ready to plant. If you haven't already started planting,
remove rocks and large twigs from the garden and give the soil a good
raking first. Here are the things that you can safely plant now:</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Peas
– St. Patrick's Day is the traditional date to plant peas and
potatoes in Western Pennsylvania. but since we had such a cold wet winter,
I gave the soil a little extra time to dry out a bit. Peas that get
plenty of sun will be sweeter than those grown in part shade.. If
you're following the square foot garden method, you should have
sixteen 1'x1' squares. Plant two rows of four peas in one square. If
you're planting in rows, the peas can be planted close together, like
two inches apart or even less. Make two rows of peas about six to
eight inches apart. Leave 12 inches between double rows. Peas grow
on vines and will need some type of support as they grow - one
trellis between the double rows will suffice.</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Onions
– onion sets can be planted now in zones 5 and higher. Plant them
one inch below the soil and give them enough room to grow into a nice
sized onion. In a square foot garden, depending on the type of onion
you can plant 9-16 to a square. Like other root vegetables, onions don't like competition, so keep the onion beds as free of
weeds as you can.<br /></span></span></span><br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Potatoes need room so they are not a good crop for square foot gardens. If you want to grow
potatoes find a larger space for them. My potato bed is 8' x 4'.
The nurseries should have seed potatoes now. Seed potatoes will be
free of any potato diseases. Pick the ones with plenty of “eyes.”
Cut them into pieces that have at least one or two eyes. Dig
ditches 7-8 inches deep, creating mounds of soil between the ditches.
Place the potato pieces at least six inches apart in the ditches,
with the cut side down. Cover them with a few inches of soil
but do not fill the ditches. When the potatoes sprout leaves, cover
the leaves with the soil from the mounds. When the leaves emerge
again hill up the soil around the plants. Do this
twice and then let them grow.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If
you have any questions, don't hesitate to email me at
roseannlord7@gmail.com.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Reflection:
What could be sweeter than the fragrance of the spring air? Those of
you who live or work in the DC area have the wonderful benefit of the
cherry blossoms which should be at the height of their season about
now. Our gardens, in addition to providing us with the best possible
food, help to purify the air and reduce our carbon footprint.</span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; orphans: 2; text-align: left; widows: 2;">
<br />
</blockquote>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-64149349083733195112021-03-16T08:31:00.000-07:002021-03-16T08:31:32.851-07:00...that spring cannot be far off. <p> </p><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: large;">Who can resist the feelings of
hope and joy that one gets from participating in nature's
rebirth?</span><br /><span style="color: #666666; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-size: small;"> Edward Giobbi</span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<br />
</blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Hello
Fellow Gardeners,</span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">In
just a few days it will officially be spring.. As the days get longer
and warmer and sunnier our seedlings will be growing and looking
stronger, getting ready to be planted in the soil.</span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
</blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I
was turning the soil in some of my garden lbeds ast weekend and added
the compost that I started last spring. It was so black and rich and
well - beautiful. So I want to say a few words about composting this
week. Although this is not the most popular time of year to start a
compost pile, you can really start one at any time. The only
difference is in the materials available. Since dry leaves are an
ideal base for a compost pile and we often have an over-abundance of
them, fall is the favorite time to start composting. But shredded
paper can be substituted for dry leaves and is just as effective. If
you have access to a paper shredder (or even if you don't; kids make
great paper shredders) it's a great way to reduce your carbon
footprint and nourish your garden at the same time. You can use
untreated newspaper, paper towels, napkins, unsolicited “junk”
mail, paper plates and all that used paper that piles up next to the
printer. The smaller the pieces the faster it will decompose.
Compost is one of the most important elements of this gardening
process and we will re-visit the subject later in the year, but here
are some basics.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Compost
is a natural way of building soil, the same way that soil is made in
the forest. Trees drop their leaves, plants grow and die and it all
goes back into the soil.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">It’s
much better than commercial fertilizer. If you make it right it will
have everything the plants need and It doesn’t cost a cent.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #666666;"><b>What
Does it Do?</b></span><span style="color: #666666;"><br />Compost improves the
soil texture.<br />It lets more air into the soil.<br />It increases the
soil’s water holding capacity.<br />It puts nitrogen, potassium and
phosphorus into the soil, three ingredients that the plants need to
grow well.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><b>Hastening
the Compost Process</b></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background: transparent;">Making
the compost rapidly creates heat which will destroy plant diseases
and weed seeds in the pile. Big leaves should be torn up so they will
break down faster.</span></span></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Egg
shells are a wonderful addition, but decompose slowly, so they should
be crushed. All additions to the compost pile will decompose more
quickly if they are chopped up before adding.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Almost
any organic material is suitable for a compost pile. What does
organic mean? Natural. The pile needs a good mixture of carbon-rich
materials, or "browns," and nitrogen-rich materials, or
"greens." Among the brown materials are dried leaves,
straw, shredded paper and wood chips. Nitrogen materials are fresh or
green, such as grass clippings and kitchen scraps.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Brown
= dry, high in carbon<br /> Green = moist, high in nitrogen</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Mixing
certain types of materials or changing the proportions can make a
difference in the rate of decomposition. Achieving the best mix is
more an art gained through experience than an exact science. The
ideal ratio of brown to green is anywhere from 5:1 to 30:1, depending
on which expert gardener you consult. At any rate, you should have a
much greater volume of brown material than green.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">To
collect your kitchen waste keep a small compost pail with a lid on it
in the cooking area. When you add kitchen scraps to the
compost pile, cover it with several inches of brown material. Dead
plants and flowers can go in the pile but avoid weeds that have gone
to seed or have big roots. You can use wood ashes but not too much.
You can use manure from ducks, sheep, pigs, goats, horses and cows
(animals that eat only plant food) but you should let it sit a while
before adding it to the pile as “fresh” manure can overheat the
compost pile. Hay or straw is a good addition, especially if there
are not a lot of leaves around.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0.19in; margin-right: 0.81in; margin-top: 0.19in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Other
good materials</b></span></span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">:<br />Newspaper,
but not colored<br />Wood shavings </span></span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><u>from
untreated wood<br /></u></span></span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Coffee
grounds and filters<br />tea bags<br />Hair<br />Feathers</span></span></span></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><b>What
you should not use:</b><br />Manure from dogs or cats<br />Ashes from coal or
charcoal <br />Meat or fish including bones, grease, skins,
etc.<br />Milk or milk products</span></span></blockquote><p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></p>
<blockquote style="border: none; line-height: 120%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-right: 0.81in; padding: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><b>Reflection</b>:
It's been a long and, in many ways, challenging winter. As this quote
from the Essene Gospel of Peace suggests, now it is time to celebrate
along with the earth.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">As
the earth bringeth forth her bud,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">And
as the garden causeth its seeds to spring forth,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">So
the Heavenly Father will cause the Holy Law</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">To
spring forth with gladness and joy</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Before
all the Children of Light.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">In
the Garden of the Brotherhood,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">All
the earth shines with holiness and abundant joy,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">For
there are the seeds of the Holy Law sown.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The
Law is the best of all good</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">For
the Children of Light:</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">It
giveth unto them brightness and glory,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Health
and strength of the body,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Long
life in communion with the Angels,</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.2in; margin-right: 0.79in; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">And
eternal and unending joy.</span></span></blockquote>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-75562449097572562222021-03-08T09:23:00.002-08:002021-03-08T09:36:28.606-08:00...you never know what might happen when you hand a child a shovel and invite him into the garden.<p> </p><p style="margin-bottom: 0in; page-break-before: always;"><span style="color: #009933;"><span style="font-family: Monotype Corsiva, cursive; font-size: x-large;">Why
try to explain miracles to kids when you can just have them plant a
garden?</span> Robert Brault</span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When my grandson, Sean, was three years
old he was helping me in the garden when we unearthed one of those
tiny plastic soldiers that boys used to buy by the bagful. It
wasn't the first nor the last time that I dug up one of these wounded
plastic warriors, caked with dirt and invariably missing an arm or a
leg.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“What is it?” Sean asked.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“It's a toy soldier from when your
dad and uncles used to play war on this hill.”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“What is war?” he asked.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I put down my trowel and attempted to
answer that question in a way that a three-year-old would understand.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“War is when two groups of people
fight with each other,” was the simplest answer I could come up
with. But he wanted to know more, and I found myself trying to
describe war in an honest, but not too graphic, way to this innocent
child.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“Why do people have wars?” was his
next question.
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This one was even harder.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“I guess it's because they're afraid
that they won't have enough,” I answered.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“Enough of what?” he asked.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“Enough of the things they need and
want.”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“You mean like food?”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">“Yes, food and other things.”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Sean thought about this for a while.
Then a big smile filled his face. <br />“Oh, but Grandma,” he
said. “They don't have to have a war. Everybody can just make a
garden.
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">That seems like a very simplistic and
childish solution to a very complex problem. But Sean's answer to
the problem of war is not so far-fetched. If everyone's needs were
met <b>and we could do away with greed,</b> why would anyone want to
go to war?</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Children love to dig in the dirt, which
makes it very easy to get them interested in gardening. And they
love to watch things grow, to see the tiny seeds they plant in a cup,
or in the ground, sprout and grow into a beautiful tomato plant, a
head of lettuce or a vine full of beans. In all the places that I've
had the opportunity to make gardens with kids, they've been
incredibly enthusiastic learners. In addition to my grandchildren,
I've gardened with school children in Washington DC and Pittsburgh,
with orphans in Venezuela and kids in Guatemala, the Dominican
Republic and Haiti. It's always been a joy to witness and become
drawn into their exuberance.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Children all over the world have a
steady diet of violence. It's on TV and in the movies, in the news,
in toys and video games and even in the schools. In some parts of
the world children are living with the horror of war and famine.
Sadly, anywhere in the world, violence can be right in their own
homes. Although the subject of violence is not often discussed with
children until some horrific event occurs, there is all too much
evidence of how it's affecting them – anxiety and despair,
bullying, school shootings, and a rising rate of suicide in children
as young as ten years old.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">No one can stop war or violence just by
making a garden, but the fruits we will harvest by gardening with
children are rich and varied. Gardening gets them off the screens,
out of the house and into the fresh air. They will learn about and
come to respect the Earth, our common home. They will come to
realize that the Earth offers an abundance of the things we really
need. The garden can be a means of teaching them that people are the
same all over the world and have the same basic needs. It can be
used to teach them about nutrition and maintaining a strong, healthy
body. Gardening will foster the virtue of patience and, when done
with a group of kids, will teach them about mutual respect and
cooperation.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Schools all over the country and the
world are discovering that gardening with kids is one way of helping
to foster a more peaceful and equitable world. As Dr. Jane Goodall,
famous for her work with chimpanzees, became aware of the scope of
the environmental crisis, the focus of her work broadened. In 1991
the Jane Goodall Institute initiated the Roots & Shoots program.
Young people from kindergarten through college age are involved in
projects for the betterment of the community, the preservation of the
environment and the welfare of animals. The program started when a
group of teenagers met with Dr. Goodall on her back porch in
Tanzania, There are now 10,000 groups in 100 countries. Want to
know more? <a href="https://www.rootsandshoots.org/for-youth/">https://www.rootsandshoots.org/for-youth/</a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-72177722139607634582021-02-28T14:21:00.000-08:002021-02-28T14:21:34.454-08:00<p> </p>
<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: #006633;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>"What
you see depends on how you view the world. To most people this
is just dirt, to a farmer it's potential." </i></span></span><span style="color: #006633;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><span style="background: transparent;"></span><span style="color: #339966;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="background: transparent;">Doe
Zantamata</span></b></span></span></span></span></span>
<p align="LEFT" style="orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><br /><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">Hang
in there, fellow gardeners. Spring is truly on her way. It may seem
hard to believe for those of us with snow still hanging around, but
it's true. </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">So
what to do while we're waiting?</span></p>
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">March
is the time to</span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"> start your
indoor seeds of tomatoes and peppers. </span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">Tomatoes are best
started late in the month to avoid ending up with spindly plants in
May.</span><div><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">Would
you like to grow a very special tomato plant? I'm going to tell you
how. This is called the Selke biodynamic cherry tomato plant. The seeds for the
Selke are produced by a man named L.A. Rothraine in Bradford, Pa.
About twenty years ago I was at a biodynamic workshop and L.A. was
the keynote speaker. He told us about his very special cherry tomato
plants and how they can grow to twelve or fifteen feet tall and
produce a couple of thousand tomatoes (yes, I'm talking about one
plant). L.A. Showed us pictures of these giant tomato plants and
gave us each a couple of seeds to take home and plant. I was
skeptical, not that I didn't believe that it was possible to grow
such a tomato plant, just that I didn't think that <u><i>I</i></u> could do it. I
thought it would take a gifted gardener to pull this off. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"> Nonetheless, I took my seeds home and planted them, first in the
house and, when the time was right, in my garden. I picked the one
that looked the strongest and healthiest and planted it exactly as
L.A. had instructed. That was at the beginning of May. I looked at
this tiny tomato plant and thought, no way are you going to be
twelve feet tall. In early July I called L.A. And asked, “What do
I do with this thing? It's huge.” He instructed me to support it
with bamboo, which I did. But two weeks later my husband and I had
to replace the bamboo with 2 x 4's. The plant did grow to be about
12 feet tall and produced over 2000 tomatoes.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">Our
tomato plant became an attraction in the neighborhood, especially
for the kids next door who used to come over and feast on these
sweet cherry tomatoes as if they were candy. And of course, they are
– nature's candy. So, if you would like to grow one of these
glorious tomato plants, write to L.A. Rothraine right away and he
will send you seeds for the cost of shipping, along with
instructions on how to grow one of these amazing tomato plants. The
address is Highlands Star Seed, P.O. Box 990, Bradford, PA 16701.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Lucida Grande, Lucida Sans, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande", "Lucida Sans", Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;">Reflection:
Everything depends on the earth, the soil, that substance that our
mothers constantly urged us to wash off of ourselves. Yet, despite
that upbringing, something in us longs to get our hands dirty, to get
down on our knees and renew our contact with Mother Earth. What is
that something? Is it the innate understanding that this substance is
the true food of life, the source of all health and happiness, the
stuff that allows human beings to keep on being? Maybe so.</span>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</p></div>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-86972779095092086732021-02-20T11:05:00.001-08:002021-02-20T11:10:34.539-08:00<p> ...that we can help to heal our world through gardening</p><p align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: #005214;">“<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">I'd
rather have a cupboard full of herbs than a closet full of shoes.” </span>source u</span></span></span></span><span style="color: #005214;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">nknown<span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Growing
Herbs in Containers</b></span></span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Container
gardening is an ideal way to grow herbs. For one thing, it keeps
those herbs that tend to go wild and take over the garden, well
contained. You can start your herbs from seed or from young
plants(seedlings) purchased at a nursery. If you're going to go with
seedlings, I suggest you try to find ones that have been grown
organically, which more and more nurseries are now offering. To grow
from seed, plant the seeds indoors in seed-starter trays, 4-6 weeks
before the start of your growing season, at which time you can
transplant them to their permanent containers.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some
advantages of growing herbs in containers are:</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">You
can move the pots around so, as the position of the sun changes
through the season, you can change the location of the pots to take
the best advantage of the sunlight.<br />You can position the pots
where they will be the most convenient to your kitchen.<br />You can
put your container plants close to an easily accessible water source.<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You
will not have to contend with weeds - that is as long as you fill the
containers with the right kind of soil.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Soil</b>:
An organic potting soil is the best for container gardening. Garden
soil should not be used, not only because it will probably sprout
weeds, but it will become too dense after a while. It's a good idea
to feed the soil every 10-14 days with organic fertilizer such as
Organic Grow or compost tea. *</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Containers:</b>
The size and shape of the container should be determined by the root
system of the plant and how much it will spread. Parsley, for
example, has a long taproot, so it needs a fairly deep pot. Most
herbs will thrive in 8-10 inch pots but some, like lemon grass and
mint, need a lot of room to spread – 12-18 inches in diameter.
Avoid pots that are too large or too heavy to move around. Plastic
and resin pots are light weight and can be moved from indoors to
outdoors with the season. Ceramic pots, though heavier, come in many
different designs and colors and can add to your outdoor decorating
scheme. All containers should have drainage holes in the bottom to
prevent water-logging the plants. Most planting pots will come with
drainage holes, although some ceramic pots do not. Holes can be
drilled in them with ceramic drill bits. A tray or saucer under the
pot to catch spillage, will prevent stains on the deck or outdoor
carpeting. The containers should be placed where the plants will get
at least six, and preferably eight, hours of sunlight.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Watering:</b>
Container plants should be watered every day that they aren't rained
on. Keep the soil moist but not soggy. The water should not be too
warm or too cold. Some gardeners fill their watering cans when they
are done watering for the day and let them sit out until the
following day. This will give the water a nice temperature for the
plants and allow any chlorine or fluoride in the water to dissipate.
On really hot days container plants might need an extra drink by mid
to late afternoon. This can be determined by putting your finger
into the soil up to the first knuckle. If the soil feels dry, it
should be watered again. Water early in the day or in the early
evening. Watering in the hottest part of the day can cause the leaves
to burn; while watering too late, so that the foliage stays wet
during the night, can lead to fungus diseases. Directing the water
to the soil, rather than spraying the plants from above, is also
advisable. These guidelines can be applied to garden plants as well
as container plants.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Herbs
will be either annual - must be re-planted every year, or perennial
- lives for two or more years. The annuals include basil, dill,
cilantro, parsley (will grow for two years, but not as good the
second year) and summer savory. Chives, ginger, lemon grass,
oregano, thyme and fennel are perennials. Your seed packet or
seedling packaging will tell you whether the herb is an annual or a
perennial.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Planting:</b>
To plant purchased seedlings, gently remove them from the container
and if they come with a peat pot around them, remove the peat. The
planting directions may say that you can plant them right in the peat
pot, but it will wick up the water, depriving the plant. Break up
the root ball at the bottom and tuck the plant in the space you have
made in the soil, making sure there are no air pockets around the
plant. Add a little more soil after planting but keep about a 1-1/2
to 2 inch space at the top of the pot, to avoid spillage over the
edge when you water.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Some
perennial herbs can be grown together in the same pot. Contrasting
colors and textures can make a pleasing arrangement. Chives, parsley
and oregano, for example, make a nice combination. Make sure the
container is large enough to allow for growth. The height of the
plants should also be taken into consideration, so tall plants are
not casting a shadow over lower ones. </span></span></span>
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Growing
herbs in containers is an adventure that can offer some surprises.
You may find that some of the herbs, lavender, rosemary, sage, thyme
and winter savory, for example, will give you a year-round harvest,
even in cooler climates. Here's a photo of my daughter-in-law,
Melinda's, rosemary plant that has been growing on my patio through
the winter, despite our record cold temperatures and 50 inches of
snow by mid-February. Melinda informed me that some people consider
it good luck to have rosemary growing by your door.</span></p><p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<img align="left" height="16" id="alttext-image" style="display: inline; float: left; margin: 0px;" width="16" /><span id="alttext"></span><br />
</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCNzN7w5W7U51jhiNoFxcxEQ_OaODWzrhUZnAXYK4GppgPKVrjkJF2fR5LiEm5iXZFM3KP0d5DCBXydvF00HoY-gwgwnCp_kTIBVuL4O3y-_Y2ZaAMLAozuVleVcednpfBvGQY24hXQ/s231/IMG_1377+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="231" data-original-width="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCNzN7w5W7U51jhiNoFxcxEQ_OaODWzrhUZnAXYK4GppgPKVrjkJF2fR5LiEm5iXZFM3KP0d5DCBXydvF00HoY-gwgwnCp_kTIBVuL4O3y-_Y2ZaAMLAozuVleVcednpfBvGQY24hXQ/s0/IMG_1377+2.jpg" /></a></div><p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><br /></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As
with any type of gardening, expect there to be trial and error.
Don't stress over it. Gardening is a life-long learning experience.
Try growing some herbs that you frequently use in your cooking.
Keep it fun!</span></span></span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Reflection</b>:
I'm reading a fascinating book entitled, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">Thus Spoke the Plant</i><b style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">,
</b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;">about recent scientific discoveries, traditional wisdom, and
anecdotal stories about the sentient qualities of plants.</span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Here's
what the author, an environmental scientist, has to say about the
relationship between plants and humans.<br /><i>“Indeed, plants seem
to know us well, and what we need. In some herbalist circles, it is
said that plants are willing to help us and are keen to share their
knowledge with us. As plants continue to co-evolve with humans (and
other animal species), it is also suggested that new properties and
functions for plants will emerge as new needs develop.”</i> Monica
Gagliano, PhD</span></span></span></p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<br />
</p>
<p align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The
older I get the more I tend to think that there's a whole lot more
going on in the world around me than I've ever been aware of.</span></span></span></p>Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-61919211097467666052020-05-09T14:20:00.000-07:002020-05-11T10:41:14.162-07:00that we can help to fight the pandemic by growing some of our own food.<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We
are in a war, not a war against another nation, not (as some people
would like to believe) a war against our government, but a war
against a killer virus. This war is affecting people in all but a
handful of countries; and it's an equalizer. Rich and poor, famous
and infamous, people of every color and culture, even heads of state,
are affected. We're all waiting impatiently for a treatment, a cure
and hopefully a vaccine, so we will not have to fight this particular
war again. But, in the meantime, as in any crisis or monumental
event, there are things to be learned, things that could be of great
benefit when the war is over.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">One
valuable lesson that can be learned from our social and economic
downtime is that, in almost any living space, people can grow some of
their own food. This was made evident in a different type of war.
World Wars I and II also affected a large portion of the world. The
concept of a “victory garden” was introduced to the public in the
United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and Germany during
WWI and revived during WWII. Victory gardens were especially
successful during the Second World War. Gardens were planted in
public and private spaces, from city parks and vacant lots to
backyards, rooftops, balconies and decks. Both Buckingham Palace
and the White House lawns had victory gardens. In May of 1943 there
were reportedly 18 million victory gardens in the United States; 12
million were in the cities. Not only did these gardens help the war
effort by making it possible for the government to put their food
procuring attention on providing for the troops, but they proved to
be a morale booster on the home-front, empowering people and giving
them some control over their lives during those difficult and
uncertain times. </span></span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now
we are in another very challenging, frightening and uncertain era in
history. Some of the battlegrounds are the same as those in any war
– hospitals, government offices, food-lines. As some have
suggested, this could actually be WWIII, and how we respond to this
enemy could be a huge determining factor in what our future world
will look like. So what can an individual or a family do to protect
themselves against this invisible enemy? One thing they can do is to
grow some of their own food.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
would like to share some of the ways that people with very limited
space can do some gardening, starting with container gardening. In
future posts I'll talk about some other options.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Container
gardening:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Maybe you have a small
yard (or no yard) so you think you can't have a vegetable
garden because space is not available for a garden plot. Lack of yard
space is no excuse for not gardening, since many kinds of vegetables
can be readily grown in containers on your patio, deck or porch, as
long as you can give the plants six or more hours of direct sun.
Some veggies that grow well in containers are cherry tomatoes, beans,
radishes, peppers and chillies, lettuce and spinach. Here are
some tips on container gardening, but don't be intimidated by too
much information. Just find a nice big pot, some good
soil and some seeds and go to it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Containers are
available in many different sizes, shapes, and materials. All
containers, whether clay, wood, plastic, or ceramic, should have an
adequate number of holes in the bottom for proper drainage.
Additional holes should be drilled or punched in containers that do
not drain quickly after each watering. Drainage is reduced when the
container is set on a solid surface such as a cement or patio floor.
Raising the container several inches off the floor by setting it
on blocks of wood or bricks will solve this drainage problem.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The size of the
container will be determined by the vegetable grown. Generally, most
vegetables grown in the soil can be grown in containers as long as
ample space is provided for root development. Shallow rooted crops
like lettuce, peppers, radishes, and herbs need a container at least
6 inches in diameter for one plant, with an eight inch soil depth. A
rectangular planter box works well and can accommodate several plants Bushel baskets, half
barrels, wooden tubs, or large pressed paper containers are ideal for
growing tomatoes, squash, pole beans, and cucumbers. As the plants
grow they may need something to support them. Small plant cages can be purchased at a garden center or stakes can be made from bamboo or sticks and cord.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpzBhKmPqyWcFBro-0RsEnlBiwR47eh67n-36Sq1fRSGvLx_7aSRcq68_QrZ6_MNjGfsgGPmTUKqsHUddAui56GDLPfqDOC6V7cOXzn5ESvuYdyvVN9mw5dh3bxo9bg6QE1zUhNj9UIA/s1600/staked+container+plants.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="402" data-original-width="313" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpzBhKmPqyWcFBro-0RsEnlBiwR47eh67n-36Sq1fRSGvLx_7aSRcq68_QrZ6_MNjGfsgGPmTUKqsHUddAui56GDLPfqDOC6V7cOXzn5ESvuYdyvVN9mw5dh3bxo9bg6QE1zUhNj9UIA/s320/staked+container+plants.png" width="249" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /> </span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The gardener can make their own planting medium by mixing equal parts of sand,
organic garden soil (not potting mix) and peat moss, mixed with a
generous amount of homemade compost if available.*</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Planting and spacing
requirements for most vegetables can be found on the seed packet or
plant tag. A container can sustain only a certain number of plants,
therefore, it is important to limit the number of plants based on the
container size and the eventual size of the plant at maturity.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Watering is one of the
most important jobs a container gardener will perform. Whatever you
plant from seed, while you're waiting form them to sprout, should be watered daily with a fine mist so that the
soil never dries out. Some vegetables will continue to need
watering every day, depending on container size and weather
conditions, but container plants will always need more watering than
those grown in the ground. The best way to water plants after they’ve
sprouted is with a watering can or a bucket and cup, at the ground
level rather than spraying them from overhead. This is the best
method for the plants and the most water-conservative. The
water should not be too hot or too cold. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Almost any vegetable
can be adapted to container culture.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">*For information on
how to make compost go to my website, Making Gardens Making Peace at:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://sites.google.com/site/makinggardensmakingpeace/home">https://sites.google.com/site/makinggardensmakingpeace/home</a>
</span></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-19167816396701047532017-08-10T09:34:00.000-07:002017-08-10T09:34:15.915-07:00that what we focus on grows...<div class="MsoNormal">
…and
as a nation and a society we’re focusing on the wrong stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ve all heard it said that
“violence begets violence.” As Martin
Luther King, Jr. put it:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“<i>Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper
darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out
darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do
that.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The civil rights leader said that
love can drive out hate. It could also
be said that love begets love. If love
can have the duel effect of driving out hate and begetting more love, then it
seems to me that the answer to the world’s problems is to propagate love. That sounds kind of simplistic but how could
it not work?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What are the major problems that
plague our world? War, Poverty, Hunger,
Disease, Crime, Ignorance. So, let’s say we could wipe out war and use the
resources that have been going into it, to eradicate the other major
problems. Would that solve
everything? I doubt it; unless we could
also drive out greed and hatred, both of which are the by-product of fear. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Albert Einstein said, <i>“Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed.” </i>There may be enough money in the world to
wipe out stupidity in the form of illiteracy, but I don’t think it could get
rid of fear and greed. Fear, greed and
hate are products of the darkness. Only
light and love can drive them out. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But is there enough love in this
world to counteract all the fear, greed and hate? It seems to me that there is, but we’re not
propagating it. We’re so wrapped up in,
and focused on, the major problems, which are fed by fear, greed and hate, that
we don’t give Love and Light the attention they need and deserve. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What would happen if people
decided to make spreading love the main purpose of their lives? What if only a fraction of the population
made that commitment and every day when they woke up they would ask themselves,
‘What can I do to spread love today?’ Would that love beget more love and more
love and more love? Or, is this just
the notion of a bleeding heart, head-in-the-clouds, overage hippy liberal? NO!
It’s the core message of all the religions and the greatest prophets in
history. Jesus Christ put it very
simply, “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another.”<o:p></o:p></div>
Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-74406788682851163412017-03-11T05:16:00.000-08:002017-03-11T05:16:13.676-08:00...that we are One World.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The only way this world is going to survive is if
we realize that we are one, inter-related world. We have the internet that
allows us to communicate with anyone in the world… and wiki-leaks to make sure
that there are no secrets. The pollution
created in one city, or one nation, affects the air and the climate of every
person on earth. And we have nuclear
weapons that can reach and destroy every corner of the planet. <span style="text-transform: uppercase;">Isolationism
is not an option.</span> So those who
are afraid that if we let the “other” in…into our country, into our hearts,
into our legislative decisions, you might lose one of your 50” TVs, get over it.
We are one world, like it or not and we’re not going to go back to the way
things were. The only way humankind is
going to go backwards is if we blow each other to smithereens. And then there
might not be anyone left.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitleCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m not saying that
we should be one nation with one world leader, not at all. We can remain separate nations, people with
distinct cultures and religious practices.
But we, the people, have to elect leaders who realize that we are one,
small, inter-related world and the decisions they make must take that into consideration. Business
leaders, maybe even more so, must recognize the connectivity between their
decisions and the well-being of, not just their shareholders, but everyone even
remotely influenced by those decisions. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoTitleCxSpLast">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">I don’t deny that there is suffering in this country. Of course there is, and we have to look at
how we can alleviate that suffering, with long-term measures. Maybe it would be nice for the coal miners if
they could have their jobs back rather than having to go through job-retraining
but that’s not what this country, or the world, needs. We need alternative sources of energy that
aren’t going to ravage our water supplies and pollute the air. There are certainly sources of revenue in
this country that can finance long-term solutions to the industrial and
environmental problems we are facing.
Just one of those billionaires who now occupy the Whitehouse could
probably make a huge contribution to putting people back to work while at the
same time helping to clean up the environment. But they’d have to stop acting
like ignorant fools and denying what is obvious to the rest of the world.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoTitle">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We’re all going to have to
learn to think, feel and act globally because this is the world we have
made. Self-centered indifference and
militaristic aggression will not make our lives better, will only serve to fuel
hatred, endless war and acts of terrorism. Unless we
learn to respect each other; unless we have compassion for ALL our fellow men,
women and children; unless we recognize that we are all one family and our
neighbor’s needs are just as important as our own, WE WILL NOT SURVIVE.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-8261690980131507202016-12-26T13:57:00.000-08:002016-12-26T13:57:02.838-08:00...that Fr. Martin has put it in proper perspective<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 11.25pt;">
<i><span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This article was written by Fr. James Martin, SJ, best-selling
author and editor of the Jesuit magazine, America.<br />
<br />
</span></i><span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Synod on the
Family, the gathering of bishops from around the world that just concluded,
changed no Catholic doctrine. None.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But you wouldn't know that from the fierce
reactions the synod evoked. Even the possibility that the church might deal
more openly with, for example, divorced and remarried Catholics or the LGBT
community, sent some Catholics into a near frenzy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It seemed out of proportion to the synod's
discussions as well as the final document, a rather workaday overview of issues
related to the family. The final report did not, for example, say that divorced
and remarried could return to Communion. Instead it talked about possible
avenues of reconciliation that already existed. Nor did it approve same-sex
marriage. Instead it spoke of respecting LGBT Catholics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Overall, the document stressed two concepts:
"accompaniment" and "discernment." The church must accompany
families in the complexity of their lives and use discernment, a form of
prayerful decision-making, to help people arrive at good decisions based on
church teaching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The final document is not even the final word.
Pope Francis will most likely issue his own document within a few months,
summing up the synod's findings and perhaps moving the discussion farther.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But even the hint of change prompted outrage
-- which was directed not only at Pope Francis, but also the bishops at the
synod, Catholic commentators, and from time to time, me. At times, the level of
sheer spite was astounding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First, let's give the benefit of the doubt to
people upset by Pope Francis and some of the synod's discussions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Those disturbed by the possibility of change
are usually devout Catholics who believe that the law is an important part of
Catholic tradition. And it is. Make no mistake: Jesus himself said he came to
"fulfill the law." Many of the church's rules flow directly from the
Gospels. Just consider divorce, the synod topic that captured much of the
attention in the West. It is unequivocally stated by Jesus to be wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Laws also are part of tradition, which
Catholics believe is guided by the Holy Spirit. Even if certain rules do not
come from the lips of Jesus, but rather from popes or other councils like
Vatican II, they are considered to be inspired by the Holy Spirit. Thus, another
reason to oppose change: Why would we change something that either comes from
Jesus or is safeguarded by the Holy Spirit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So some of the consternation is
understandable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some, however, is harder to understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For if you're a devout Catholic who believes
in the guidance of the Spirit, then you should also trust that the same Spirit
is guiding Pope Francis and the synod. Sadly, in some corners that trust seems
to have evaporated after the Pope's election, to be replaced with doubt,
suspicion and anger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Again why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">First, Catholics today often conflate dogma,
doctrine and practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the most basic (and simplified) theological
terms dogma refers to our core beliefs. For example, beliefs like the
Resurrection: That's foundational.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Doctrine encompasses the overall teachings of
the church. For example, the teaching on birth control. Every doctrine is
important, but not every doctrine is dogma. Finally, pastoral practice refers
to how those doctrines are applied in real life. For example, how does a priest
counsel a person who uses birth control?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the past few decades, we have seen these
three categories collapsed together, at least in the popular Catholic
imagination. It is as if every teaching is seen as dogma. And this has had
disastrous effects. Because a change in one is seen as an attack on everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In this view, changing the way that the church
treats divorced and remarried Catholics is not simply an attack on pastoral
practice, but on doctrine and perhaps even dogma. This is not to diminish
important teachings, but rather to put them in their perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FEFEFE; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Traditionally, we believe in a "hierarchy
of truths," in which some teachings are simply more important than others.
Obviously, the Resurrection is more important than what your pastor says about
a local political candidate. The collapse of these three categories, then,
means that even the hint of change is a threat. Thus some of the anger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Second, change itself may be difficult for
some Catholics because it threaten one's idea of a stable church. Yet the
church has always changed. Not in its essentials, but in some important
practices, as it responds to what Jesus called the "signs of the
times."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Think of the changes wrought by the Second
Vatican Council: The church's relations with the Jewish people changed utterly.
The translation of the Mass from the Latin into vernacular languages changed
the way we worship. Both were immense changes -- and necessary changes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Third, a darker reason for the anger: a
crushing sense of legalism of the kind that Jesus warned against. Sadly, I see
this evident in our church, and it is ironic to find this in those who hew to
the Gospels because this is one of the clearest things that Jesus opposed:
"You load people with burdens hard t</span><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">o bear and you yourselves do not lift
a finger to ease them!" he said in the Gospel of Luke.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As the Pope said in his closing remarks to the
synod, the person who truly follows the doctrine is not the one who follows the
letter of the law, but its spirit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fourth, even darker reasons for the anger: a
hatred of LGBT Catholics that masks itself as a concern for their souls, a
desire to shut out divorced and remarried because they are "sinful"
and should be excluded from the church's communion, and a self-righteousness
and arrogance that closes one off to the need for mercy. Also, a mere dislike
of change because it threatens the black-and-white worldview.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But change began in the church almost as soon
as the church began. St. Paul prevailed over St. Peter -- the "rock"
upon which Jesus built his church -- over the question of whether the
non-circumcised could be accepted into the faith. Without change early on, the
church would have never moved beyond the Jewish community. St. Paul understood
the need for change, even if it went against some cherished practices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So did Jesus. He did not hesitate to bend or
even set aside the rules if it meant applying more mercy. When he healed an
infirm woman, painfully stooped over from arthritis or scoliosis, in the Gospel
of Luke, on the Sabbath, he was critiqued for not following the rules. In
response, he excoriates those who sought to lock him into unchanging legalisms:
"Hypocrites!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fear of change holds the church back. And it
does something worse. It removes love from the equation. In the past few weeks
I have seen this fear lead to suspicion, mistrust and hate. And at the heart of
this, I believe, is fear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As St. Paul said, perfect love drives out
fear. But perfect fear drives out love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-20955986458301340992016-11-16T13:29:00.000-08:002016-11-16T13:29:16.279-08:00...that the important thing now is to keep our Christian love and compassion flowing<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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It seems to me that the important thing now is that we keep
our Christian love and compassion, and the hope it offers, flowing gently and
lovingly through our families and communities.
There’s so much pain, so much fear and anger hanging over and around us,
like a dark fog, keeping the light of our faith from shining through, just when
it is so needed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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No matter how the recent election had turned out, one half
of our nation would have been very unhappy.
Now there are protests on one end of the political spectrum and hate
crimes on the other end. Protest is the
right of every citizen. It’s what our
country was born out of, but it should be
peaceful and respectful and that hasn’t always been the case. Hate crimes are always deplorable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It seems to me that
it should not be our role as Christians to take sides with, or to condemn, the people who are taking these actions.
While we recognize that certain actions are counter-productive and
destructive, does name-calling and railing against the perpetrators do anything but feed the
anger and fear and add to the darkness?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We don’t have to sit by quietly watching as our country is
torn apart. We can take NON-VIOLENT
actions to protect the most vulnerable members of our society and the principles
that our country was born of. As Rev.
John Dear of Pace e Bene [Peace and All Good] puts it, <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“</i><i><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Sitting
back and doing nothing does not help, nor does it reflect our discipleship to
the nonviolent Jesus or our common call to be peacemakers. We have to take a
deep breath, remain centered and mindful, and do what we can to help build the
movements of nonviolence on behalf of the poor, the children, the earth itself.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<br />
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<i>http://www.thebostonpilot.com/article.asp?utm_source=ConstantContact&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Dailynewsletter&ID=177914<o:p></o:p></i></div>
Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5355972046148860230.post-5810816799031456492016-10-14T19:31:00.000-07:002016-10-15T14:14:23.381-07:00That We Should Listen to Pope Francis<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It seems to me that Jesus wants us to be united, not necessarily politically but in our love for Him, for the Father and for each other. <i>“</i></span><i><span style="background: white; color: #23221f; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in
Me through their word; t</span></i><i style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="background: white;">hat they may all be one, just as you,
Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in Us, </span></i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><i>so that the world may believe
that you have sent me.</i>" <br />(John 17:20-21)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> We are far from united. We are in an ugly,
escalating war of words with each other.
Jesus said, <i>“</i></span><i><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">…every
kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided
against itself will stand.” </span></i><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;">(<i> </i>Matthew 12:25)<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">There has been division between Christians for centuries, but it certainly looks like the current political warfare is widening the division among us, and among
all the people of this nation. It's unanimous that this is the nastiest presidential campaign in
recent history. There is so little
attention given to the very serious issues facing our country and the world, and
so much effort, on both sides, to destroy the other candidate’s
reputation. There have been threats to
imprison the other candidate and thinly disguised suggestions that the opposing
candidate could be permanently eliminated. What is this country coming to? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">And it seems to me that instead of demanding that the
candidates focus on the issues, the citizenry is jumping on the “destroy the
other guy” bandwagon and spreading whatever dirt they can dig up on
the candidate they are opposed to, with little effort to discern whether or not
it’s based on truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><br /></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">“For God did not send his Son into the world
to condemn the world but in order that the world might be saved through him.” (</span></i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">John 3:17)<i><br />
</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Jesus
did not condemn individuals. Even though
He was the Messiah promised to the House of Israel, He recognized all people
who turned to him in faith; and He declared, <i>“</i><span style="background: white;"><i>I
have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They
too will listen to my voice, and there shall be</i> <b><i>one flock and one shepherd.” </i></b>(John
10:16). <br />
How can we hear His voice if we’re all shouting at each other? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;">It seems to me that, as followers of Christ, neither should
we be condemning. Rather we should follow the advice of Pope Francis to, "</span><i><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Study the proposals well,
pray and choose in conscience.”</span></i><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <b>e</b></span></span><b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">ach of us according to</span></b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> <b>our own</b> </span><b style="color: #444444; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">conscience </b><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">which, as we have
been taught, is the ultimate guide to human conduct.</span><br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><i>Please feel free to comment but not about the candidates. I am not looking for a political response with regard to the current election.</i></span></h4>
Rose Lordhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06507362343801920396noreply@blogger.com0